Native Yoga Toddcast

Jennifer Kenney-Smith ~ Redefining Success: From High Performance to Spiritual Fulfillment

Todd Mclaughlin | Jennifer Kenney-Smith Season 1 Episode 189

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Jennifer Kenney-Smith is a seasoned yoga instructor and Ayurveda practitioner with a rich background in corporate management and business success. Having made a transformative journey from a high-pressure corporate career to a more spiritually aligned lifestyle, Jennifer harnesses her personal and professional experiences to guide others. She specializes in teaching yoga, sharing Ayurvedic wisdom, and leading life-changing retreats and courses like her signature program, Awaken. Her work focuses on integrating physical health with spiritual wellness, aiming to support individuals in their journey towards self-discovery and holistic healing.

Visit Jennifer on her website: https://www.jksyoga.com/

Key Takeaways:

  • Morning Rituals and Ayurveda: Jennifer details her transformative morning rituals that integrate yoga, meditation, and Ayurvedic principles to set a grounded tone for the day.
  • Identity and Transition: The conversation explores the challenges of shifting from a corporate identity to a spiritual one, mirroring Jennifer’s own journey of personal and professional realignment.
  • Hero's Journey and Self-Discovery: The concept of the hero’s journey is presented as a path back to one's true self, emphasizing inner healing and self-understanding.


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LinkedIn: Todd McLaughlin

Welcome to Native Yoga Toddcast, so happy you are here. My goal with this channel is to bring inspirational speakers to the mic in the field of yoga, massage, body work and beyond. Follow us at @nativeyoga and check us out at nativeyogacenter.com. All right, let's begin. Welcome to Native Yoga Toddcast, today, my very special guest is Jennifer Kenny-Smith. She is a yoga teacher and a coach, and you can find her on her website, jksyoga.com her Instagram handle, @jksyoga_coaching. And she's also very active on LinkedIn, and you can find her under her name, Jennifer Kenney-Smith. She does have a course, a six month course called Awaken, which you can practice online. Get prepared to be inspired, motivated and ready for transformation. You're going to love this episode, this conversation, as much as I did. I have a feeling, and I'm so happy that you're here. Thank you for all your support, and I really am thankful to have this opportunity to bring you. Jennifer Kenney-Smith, Oh, I'm so excited to have a chance to meet and speak with Jennifer Kenney-Smith, Jennifer, thank you so much for joining me here today. How are you feeling? Super excited to be here. Thank you excited. Yeah. Thank you Excellent. Can you tell me a little bit about what your morning looked like? Do you have any specific rituals that you perform in in the hopes of feeling connected to life and the universe and everything. I love the question, and I'm gonna have a different answer today than I normally do, because I think Friday morning I was teaching, I teach yoga every morning, and that morning, the energy is shifting. It's from an Ayurvedic perspective. We're moving into vata. It's coming into the fall, things a little bit more disruptive, disparate, chaotic, and the sun's change of it's getting darker earlier in the night. It's still dark in the morning, and Friday morning, I was attempting to get up to do my very long list of morning rituals that I do to be a good human and a good yogi. And I'm going to say air quotes, because they're all the things that we've heard from the best and the brightest of teachers, either from a business field or from a spiritual field or even a yoga background. And let me just break down what that list looked like for me. As up until Friday, we get up early, we hydrate. I like to start with hot water. Helps with elimination, helps with hydration to the cellular level. And then we get dressed and we go downstairs and make some hot tea. Go outside to have sunrise that let the sun hit my face. Sit down to pray, and then if called to journal, and then to do a little round of pranayama, some breath work to awaken the fire inside. Make my playlist for my yoga class, sequencing any anything that spirit guides me, that I want to teach on, and then go down and start the yoga class to then only finish yoga to then meditate. And it sounds so juicy and yummy, like, Heck, yeah, let's all do this. Yeah, but it's also a lot. So on the days I didn't get to do all my beautiful techniques or modules modalities to feel my best, because I do believe in honoring my body at this point my life, if I didn't get to do all those things, I felt like a bad person. And I don't mean like, on a scale of like, shame on me, but just like, I didn't get to do it, so I've traded my high performance from my corporate career to my high performance as a spiritual being ascending on this planet in this space and time. And I realized, like, it's too much. How about if I just drop in, feel into what I need, and then do that thing, which might be a little more rest. It might not be. It's not 5am club for me, for me, by any means, but like 6am so I have made a little more flexibility just since Friday morning. So this morning, I slept in a little, and I woke up and I laid there, and I had to resist the pulse of pulling out of bed, because it's habitual. Yeah. Yeah, a little bit longer, and I enjoyed the lingering warning, and the windows were open, and it's very chilly. Here. I'm in Northern Virginia. It's colder than normal. It was about 43 degrees. My windows were open, and I just was in that moment, and I could allow myself to be present still. Got up, had a little quiet time, prayer time, and got ready for my yoga class. So my morning was different, but I will say something I was listening to from one of my teachers was dropping in talking about this change and how we can best utilize it in regards to letting life pull you this vata energy and applying it to our dharma, to our life's journey, to this purpose of dharma, has to strip down the ego. It has to force us through that dark night of the soul. And I know I don't we've all had our own form of that. Some of it's super traumatic mind, for sure, some of it not so much. We just realize what's what we're doing isn't working anymore. But if we really allow this energy of this season to pull us apart instead of resisting it or just being completely unconscious to it, it can be really beautiful support system to get us to that next layer. So that, in short, is my morning long answer to your question. No, it's great answer. I love hearing about, you know, people's rituals, your rituals and, and, and also like the attachment that we have to whether or not we got to kind of go through all of them and, and all that sort of thing. Like, is my day going to be good now, whether you know based off of my performance, and I like the fact that you're bringing up the your corporate background and, or your business background, and then when you transfer over into spiritual practices, like, are we still just applying the same concepts of like, I've gotta, you know, perform and produce and have everything you know on time by the deadline, and maybe even then some and I gotta prove and I gotta make sure I keep my job, make my boss feel like I can keep my job if I really work 14 hours instead of 13 today. And it's funny, isn't it? Like when we start doing these things that are hopefully trying to unwind us from all of that, and it just becomes a whole nother, like corporate gig, you know? Or one, yeah, we're trading one identity, or we're keeping the identity. We're changing the habits, we're just trading it. It's like when I stopped drinking, everyone warned me there'd be sugar, which, sure enough, sugar kind of danced there for a little bit. But it's work for me, it is always work. I will trade out one thing and then say I'm gonna do better, and then it's always work. Yeah, because with the caveat, I freaking love to work. Do it, just because I feel like I'm not good enough, like, there's been that, yeah, or who am I if I'm not working, but legit, who am I if I'm not working? I love, I love work. Yeah, I been, it's been a very big part of my entire life. And so there's that too. So I gotta manage that. Did you time off? Did you always feel that way? Did you did you like, like, when, like, the high school days doing homework. You were like, I started, I was just telling my son's 19, and I'm going through his, um, his generation's idea of work is very different than mine. And helping educate that you can work for minimum wage and learn skills still and still have money, because he has very few bills and he doesn't. He believes, because social media has taught him that he should be a millionaire and be on YouTube, right so they don't have to do a whole lot of the work, the sweat equity get to the credibility, the cred to go do the thing. So I told him one summer in high school, I was probably in between ninth grade and 10th grade, and I babysat for a family, one child every day, all day, but it was for $2 an hour, which was way below the rate of babysitting. Babysitting should have been like $8 an hour, but it was the whole whole week. So I finally made $100 a week, which is $400 a month, which was way more than I needed to. I mean, maybe for gas money. Oh, I guess I wasn't even driving then it was a lot of money to hang out with this girl. She was probably, I don't know, five years, seven years younger than me. And it was still income. It was still making an impact. So I learned, if I show up and I do good, I perform to a certain degree, and there's money to be made. And I can't say I'm like, in love with money, by any means, but it felt good. I think there was that reward system, yeah. So I started then my my parents wouldn't buy my designer clothes, the special branded sweatshirts and shoes, sneakers. So I got a job too at the mall. And I would have two or three jobs all the time, and I did that all through college. I've had side hustles my whole every career I've had, I've had a side hustle or MLM, I mean, I've done it all. Here's a fun fact, when I was delivering my son the night of his delivery, I had stopped working. I had left. I'd started a. Corporate career, I didn't love who I worked with, so I quit, and I started a side hustle with a small company called Mary Kay Cosmetics. And the woman that enrolled me, recruited me was a national sales director, had a pink Cadillac, and she made $240,000 a year, and that probably would be like 400,000 a year today, in today's money. And I thought, Oh, I could do that while I'm having, you know, having a baby and being home. And I did. I earned my pink Cadillac the night my son was delivered. My flip phone putting in orders and calling people and bringing cash. So in between labor pain, I'm booking deals, and that's who I've always been, yeah, and I loved it. I did get that pink Cadillac, and drove my baby around in that car. And that was fun. That's awesome. Congratulations. Yeah, surely you have to work really hard to get there like that. Everything looks so easy when you see, you know, you go to those MLM meetings and the person's up there going to look how wealthy I am and what I've achieved, and you can do it too. And you're like, Yeah, and you come out all jazzed, and then you got to get your first client, you know, and it's like, wait a minute, they really made this sound easy. And to that point, what you're speaking about with the generation of thinking, I'm just gonna jump on YouTube without actually of mastering a skill that you then would teach it is an interesting component element. I would dare say, most people starting on YouTube that don't have something to actually offer a share, are gonna quickly get realized that even that isn't gonna just fly. Does Is that what you're noticing? Or are there younger generation just coming up with nothing and and making something out of nothing? It seems like you have to learn something first to be able to share, something to give and to over deliver. I mean, there's even the coaching market. I see stuff all the time, and it's and I signed up for a ton of courses, and I get through the first day of the course, I'm like, I should be teaching this. I know this. I actually am more talented, or I have more experience, and I just paid $79 1000s of dollars. It's been all over the gamut, and I think that it's unfortunate that people just will put something out there with the intention to make money, not with the intention to teach, to add value. And that's the part of where we're at in the industry today with digital media and marketing. I mean, anyone can go do it, and there's people out there that actually want to change their lives, so they're having the hope, right? They they saw a real they're hopeful that story. And, I mean, half of that stuff out there is just BS, AI, it's not even real pictures. Yeah, yeah. Great point. Well, then back on the thread where you began with the whole this, like pulling apart or with the with the shift of the energy from, say, summer to fall, yep, so fire from the summer. So it's hot, spicy. We want to be cooled down, and then we really get excited. I think all of us are getting some some excitement from the shift. It's a little bit of a reprieve. It's not so hot, yeah, and it's the element. Is this wind. It's ether. It's spacious. It feels good because we get that break. It's like if you were in the summer and you lift your arms and you get a little breeze underneath your armpits. You like, yeah, that is the coolness. But that energy as an air, you think of the plastic bag in an alleyway, and it's just blowing, and it's kind of aimless, and it's sporadic and it's a little bit messy. So although you, I think, feel in the enchantment of it, we feel excited and we're drawn to that spaciousness. But then it's also crazy. It's ethereal. It's what we would define in our anxieties. Energy going upward. We want to catch it grounded. So as we're looking at that shift, it's happening, whether we feel it or not, but I think if we really tune in, we'll feel it. Can we that movement to add into our own daily cadence of curiosity, of what can I let go of? What can I release? And I used to hate, you know, so repetitive. What's not serving you? Let it go. Somebody just said that in a class I was in the other day. I'm like, but, but it's true. So what part of your life, physical, mental, emotional, spiritual is just for this season is done. I'm done with that part of me, of those excuses, of this way that I lived, or these things that I was attached to, or this part of my identity. That's literally, how can we just let it go, and if we think of in the ether, just blow it all out there and not reactively grab it back. Wait, wait, wait, that's still part of me. Is it like it's it's kind of all these clothes we try on, these masks, we put on, these identities we play with to feel safe. So I'm asking you, in this place that's uncertain, energy shifting and moving that uncertainty, can we release some of that need to feel safe and in control of it and let it pull you apart, out of the demand of I am ready for something? New to grow through me, to be a new identity. Part of me, this identity evolution and see where it goes. Yeah, resisting, and we start opening, you know, we move from the contraction of containing and controlling, and then just where can it move in us? How can it show up in a new way. That's so cool. I'm curious, Jennifer, what do you think in relation you mentioned with this sort of energetic change and or what's going on with these little shifts in terms of what we when we turn on the news and we look at what's happening in the world and it feels fairly uncertain, and we're just really curious about what's going to happen and do, what do you what? What is your vision for, how the chaotic uncertainty, and then, if I were to just, like, let it pull me apart, I guess when I hear you say, let let it pull me apart, I guess I get a little like, wondering, like, what that means in terms of, say, I'm watching something that's telling me, like, this is what's going on. And there's a lot of like, uncertainty, to just let myself feel the uncertainty and not not worry about the future, or more, like pulling apart, like, try to visualize what I'd like to see come out at the end, and then through the pulling apart direct it toward that specific outcome. Because I'm just curious, like, how that could actually relate in maybe just being pinpointing the specifics of, you know, watching, say world news, world events and personal events, local events. Like, because even if I if I just say, okay, TV off, and I look at my in my locale, and I really listen to my neighbors and where I am here now and where I am in Florida, there's like, an insane amount of development going on in my in our little, tiny beach town here, like, literally, like, towers and skyscrapers are being put up next door, like, in a place where it's never and all we had was, like a dirt road, and then, like, it got paved, and now it's, like, turning into New York City and so on a small Juneau Beach, Florida level. So I guess, you know, I've been trying to do that too. Like, where I'm like, Okay, I just got to ride this like, and I don't, I'm not gonna let it push me out. I'm just gonna hang here with it. Things are gonna shift. Things are gonna change. I can't control all that, but I'm just, I just want to hear more about what in relation to the way you're processing world events, current and personal events. How are you seeing that pulling apart actually a beneficial thing? Yeah, oh my gosh, so much to cover in such great questions, especially in the climate of politics today and the world and we're I mean, there's so much I am not a fan of the news, and I want everyone to be educated so we can be safe and aware in a way of, how can we contribute? How can we lean in and support the things that are important to us? But a lot of the news is just it is funded by the advertisers, so it's going to go in whatever direction that they want. So there's an agenda, and I don't like to be told what to think and how to feel, so I'm going to offer that pulling apart is going to be the identity of us that looks for the certainty and is looking tuning in to hear somebody else tell us how to feel or what to think or what to do. Yes, if you pull that part away and say internally, go sit in stillness, what do I believe? What are your values? I had to rip apart a lot of the values that I thought were my identity during the pandemic. Stuff was coming up, and I'm like, I'm very strongly feeling this way, but then about what do i is, yeah, why? Yeah, good point. Why do I feel something I really was in support of 20 years ago as a young woman? I don't feel like that, and I completely I'm against it to another level, like 180 degrees. So hopefully we're growing as humans. Hopefully we're expanding and there's there's room for us to check and balance validate. Is this true for me? As things are changing, not just politically, but locally. My son, same example, he's so caught up in social media that there's almost on a daily basis, a discussion we have to have, very heated. He has to present something to me, and I'm like, Who is your source of truth? It's usually YouTube. Unfortunately, I'll ask him to check a couple other facts, other teachers or guides. And then we talk about, is this important to you as a human in this moment in time, and if it is, what can you do to support and help so identifying, what does he need to do in his own vessel? He should probably go sit in stillness. He should probably do some meditation and some prayer. Is this an alignment to my values? Is this important? Do I want to go sign up? Or the Peace Corps, for example. Do I want to go be a politician to make change and pass bills? And I mean, that's a little bit of an extreme, but if we're going to get caught up in the the spiral and the reaction, reacting to what somebody else is presenting to us, where are we in all of this? So we come back to center, yeah. And for me, that's a daily, daily thing, because there's so much sensory data overflowing, more data than we've ever seen in the history of humanity, for your consumption. So you can buy something. You know, consumerism is dominating. If you feel unwell, unsettled, unsafe, go buy all these things, more beautiful, more smart, whatever, and you're caught up in that that tool, I'll call it the matrix. So instead, go sit outside, put your face in the sun, connect to the earth, and pray or meditate, whatever that word is for you, so you can go inward and upward. You know, how are we guided? Where are we at in the grand scheme of things, and to be in a place of rejecting the things that no longer serve us, just like we talked about. So instead of that ethereal, sporadic, chaotic, chaotic behavior that is going to pull you drop in ground. It's breath work, it's yoga. Go hit some Warrior, warrior, one, Warrior, two, reverse warrior, and feel the empowerment inside of you. So it takes us away from the fear and the chaos. I mean, the agenda that's happening, whatever it is, based on making you feel less safe, insecure and incompetent, incomplete, unworthy, to then force you to go become reactive, external, external. You got to bring it back inside, because otherwise we're victims. We've lost our power. So how do we reclaim the authority of our bodies? I am sleeping, I am eating, I am praying. I am safe. I am with people I love, I don't do a whole lot outside of my house right now, or the people I really, really trust in my inner circle, because I don't want to be a part of that. Yeah, yeah. Chaos. That's not going to expand me for the greater good, for me, for my ascension. I hear, does that make sense? It does make sense. And as you're explaining that, it's making me think a little along the lines of an advertisement in theory, would do a good job of making me feel a certain sense of lack, therefore, then it's telling me, here is what will fill that lack. And therefore, boom, I make a purchase, hoping that that will achieve my goal. And most likely it won't temporarily, maybe not really, truly, not spiritually, and that physically correct in that, in some interesting way, yoga, and as like yoga practitioners and teachers, we're also saying here, there's a lack, and here, here's a solution. But actually, somehow think yoga is the solution. Like I genuinely feel like yoga and AND, OR, and I know I'm just clumping all of like, wellness and healthcare and taking care of ourselves and community and as like term yoga. I know there's like we could dissect into a million different pieces as like, explaining like, what each element is. But I do feel like though somehow it does potentially solve the problem, because it is teaching like what you're saying. Sit down, relax, breathe, listen, listen, without some sort of external source. Do you feel then, as a yoga teacher, say, someone has purchased your course, and our duty is to help them find themselves, so to speak, because obviously we can't, like, tell them who they are and get them to feel therapy, you know, help them. You know, what, what sort of role do? What sort of responsibility do you feel when you take that role on? It's tremendous. I'm a recovering codependent. I like to think I heal people, but I don't. I mean I I'm the I challenge the guru in me to not be the one of the healer, like I think I was Jesus at some point in my life, which clearly I wasn't. And I say that like jokingly, I understand I take responsibility and I have to have boundaries amongst myself with my students, to not insist. And there's the same thing with my boyfriend, who's recovering from his third battle with cancer. I just sent him to Tulum to do a self healing journey, and it took me everything to not go with him, because I wanted to do it for him. I'll just do it for you. I will take all your pain away, and I will do all the hard work because I've done it myself, and I know that I know what to do. So with my students, I have a very big challenge with myself, because sometimes I think I love them so much, and I see so much for them in them, but the growth really is them doing it themselves, that. Their own hero's journey. And then when I learned, with my own boundaries, to let them and love them exactly where they are, however they show up, I get to see that beautiful unveiling or falling down. It's all good. They can regress. They can they can get sick. They can get better. It, it doesn't matter. It's their own journey, and I get to just be there to the only thing I can do is hold the space, yeah, offer tremendous love and acceptance and witness regardless what they decide to do. And on the other side, I'm hoping and praying and hoping and praying. You know that they have some amazing success in their journey, but regardless, it's theirs, because if someone was to cheer me on and see how many times I fall, literally, I have to help myself back up every day with more faith, with more hope, and to not have these internal dialogs that say I'm not worthy, and it's it's not working, or I'm not good enough, like the program has been encoded in us for So many generations, and we're not just asking them to, you know, find Chair Pose, Utkatasana, and feel and breathe into that. We are asking them to eradicate pain and disease and disorder of generations that came before them. And we think we're just asking them to sign up for a yoga class, to shed layers of life, of pain and suffering. Wow, we're like, oh, it's just a board fold. It's not It's unveiling and piercing their soul in a way that maybe they didn't even know was possible. Oh, my gosh, great way. Well put you mentioned the term hero's journey, and I don't want to assume that you, the listener knows what that means, because sometimes I think everybody knows what the hero's journey is. Can you give me your definition? Jennifer, of the hero's journey? Yeah, I, and I recently saw somebody on a web page saying, you know, we don't have to teach the hero's journey anymore. You know, we it's overplayed. And I'm like, okay, that's your opinion. So Joseph Campbell's hero's journey and concept of we and Mel Robbins has made this very famous with the talk track of the no one's coming. No one's coming. I mean, I wish someone was coming still, some days I still think someone's saving me. And then I have to remember wait that would take away all the joy of my journey. Because what I've learned in my own Hero's Journey is the the death of the ego or the dark night of the soul. And again, it doesn't have to be something super traumatic or traumatic. It could just be with the day you say enough is enough. I'm going to change. I'm going to leave the toxic relationship. I'm going to start taking care of my body. I'm going to start to contribute to society through compassion or or the gifts of a servant heart, my own suffering that was deep and a part of a pattern that I had no idea of, the victimhood stance I was indoctrinated into. And I say that because I didn't know I was playing the role of a victim. Because I thought I was a heroine. I was a Goddess. I was doing amazing things in my life, but silently dying inside and until I took control over that story. It's just a story. Shit has happened. It has impacted us, and we get to choose. How is it going to contain us, going forward or engage us? So the suffering ended with me, and then I got up and I started a whole new evolution, a whole new evolving. And it was not easy and it was not pretty, and I still go through this on, sometimes daily, sometimes weekly, sometimes annually, occurrences where the next door opens and I get to say, Yes, let's go. So the suffering ended, and the way that happened was through a path of surrender, where I realized I have no idea how to do this alone. I had to come to a very faithful spiritual path of help me. I cannot, I'm scared, I'm lonely, I'm broken. Was never broken, but those were words that I learned and adopted shattered, maybe soul fragmented, all of these theories, but the reality is, I was suffering and chose to go through a path of surrender and asked and prayed for help to have the whole of my soul, not my words, but I adopt them and use them whenever I can. There was a hole in my soul that only God could fill, and in that moment of surrender to say, fill me up, pick me up, love me in a way that I the external world didn't. And that was all that I had known up until that moment somebody to love me. And this occurred, you know, it really began on a yoga mat. I found myself one day from a therapist who encouraged me to go to yoga, to learn how to breathe, having panic attacks in my corporate career. And I really I went. I was reluctant. I didn't want to go. I thought it was like a restorative yoga I'm going to lay on the mat and waste an hour and not burn 1200 calories like this. Is just a waste of time. And I went into a power flow, and I had no idea what that even meant, but the amazing instructor put me through the most rigorous flow, and it was hot in the room, and I remember looking through my down dog, and the door was so far behind, and there was legs moving, and I thought I was going to run to the door. I'm out, tap out. This is awful. I was going to vomit. It was so hot, it was so uncomfortable, and I couldn't get to the door, so I dropped to my knees, and I fell back into the child's pose, and I just cried and I cried and I cried until nothing else came out. And I stayed in that room till the room cleared out and to have this little white towel that contained all of that pain and suffering that finally had a voice and finally had space, and finally got to be told the truth that I wasn't well, that I was pretending, and then I went every day for an entire summer until the end of that summer, the panic attacks were gone, the the sadness was gone, the Loneliness was gone to that path of surrendering. I found myself in my late 30s for the first time in my life. I'm a woman. I have feelings, I have a heart, I have desires, I have value, I have reason. I have purpose, passion. I'm here for something more than waiting for somebody to rescue me it was encoded in me for so long, and then it wasn't. And that path allowed me to reclaim myself, the authority over my my body, my inherent worth, and then that surrendering, also through God, to reconnect to that relationship that had been dormant for so long because I had learned it was somebody either my work, my career, or a man, a romantic partner, or the day that I got the promotion, the job, something else was going to give me that validation, and it just save everybody 1000s of years worth of research. It's it's not outside of you. So just find that stillness. Allow yourself to start a small surrender through a devotion, and let that heart and soul be filled with so much love that will change the trajectory of your life in your soul for good. That's beautiful. Jennifer, that was really well, you painted a pretty cool picture just there. That was good at the time, but it feels pretty good now, yeah, to be able to to be able to recognize your own hero's journey and vocalize it like that, and to see the transformation, how there was transformation, to identify coming in with panic attacks, not believing in myself, having not knowing who I am, to having a surrender moment and a coming back, because I've recently came across the definition of the hero's journey as like just the return to self. So instead of thinking I'm journeying out, I gotta go far, I gotta go wide. It's just like I'm just coming home. All I'm doing is coming home. I just keep coming home. So I like the way that you are able to see that transformation in your life. That's pretty amazing. That's powerful. How many people in the world do you think are wanting that type of transformation right now? I think everybody, I think deep down inside, if we were honest with ourselves, if we stopped running, we stopped looking outside with the noise and the chaos and the distraction and the addiction to the thing, the dopamine, however, we're playing out the role of busy, chaotic, disparate, I think everybody deep down inside wants to be witnessed in their journey. You know, when we actually connect with people, and they tell their story, and we get to see them, see us, see their story, and it's just such a beautiful opportunity for healing. I don't think anyone wants to suffer. We didn't come here to suffer. We came here for expansive growth. We came here for love and connection. The suffering is a choice, and it's a part of the way we grow if we let it, if we let it. What was one of the more recent things that have happened that has thrown you off this alignment? What do you agree that it's we can come into this alignment where we can have this vision, this view and this understanding, and then we get wobbled off, and we're on this like wobbly alignment, where, where we're like, what just happened? And how come I'm feeling so disrupted all of a sudden, and I feel like where our initial discussion came around from, what I took from your statement of allow us to be pulled apart. I guess I was visual, visualizing that from the sense of like, allow ourselves to get disrupted. You know, like, because if we are in alignment, it feels good, you know, we do have a sense of like, okay. I understand my purpose. I understand my meaning. I'm in connection with my friends, my family. I. Yeah, things are flowing, and it feels really good. Then I'm off my alignment. Like, what just happened? I feel scared. Nothing seems like it's lining up. I don't see how this is, but I got the feeling from you that you were kind of encouraging me, encouraging to allow to be unaligned. And I'm Yeah, I just want to know. I don't want to go there, though I don't like it. It's scary to be off kilter. It's, it's difficult, but, but I hear you promoting me to, to let my I guess maybe then true alignment is comfort and then misalignment. Yes, yeah, yeah. So, and I don't offer it for all year, every day, the you know, 365, but for the season, if you're open to the invitation for some growth, for your dharmic path, for your purpose, right? So we all get comfortable. A recent one, which not this year, but the last year, I was so cheeky and so confident in myself. I mean, like, I've arrived, I've done all the work. I literally thought, I mean, it seems foolish in hindsight, but at the time, I was like, bring it 2023. January. I chose the word. You know, we all choose the word. It's going to be our signature for the year. And I said, unveil. And I challenged God, Spirit, universe, unveil the parts of me that are unhealed, ready to eradicate. I mean, it was like I was so confident, and it was a drop down, drag out, like, kind of year in my business. Sorry, I'm not laughing. I'm not laughing at you. I just laughing because, have you ever done something like that so, like, bold and, yeah, yeah, you really think you know how Bring it on. Like you said, Bring it on. Like I can handle anything. Yeah, anything. I mean, oh, no, it was, I was wrapping up probably fall that year, and I was putting up a post like it, I was saying things like it was the worst year of my life, which was far from the truth, but I was so wrapped in this storyline of the ways it's people very close to me hurt me in ways that that the pain and the heartbreak was Different than childhood trauma, pain, different from the way my ex husband and I hurt each other and separated, different than being a single mom, different than situations at work with this panic attack stuff, different a had. It doesn't matter the whole story, but brutal, I felt a little bit like an assault to the soul. So one on a personal one was personal within my business, and then one was with my ex husband, with my children same year, and one one led into the other. And I just wasn't even prepared to open myself up in a way that I wanted to ever be so hurt and pierced, and it was a bludgeon attack. It's awful, however, however, it was beautiful. Once I changed that language of it's the worst year of my life, and I was posting, I was creating the copy for this post. And then I was like, and I heard the echo of the voice, the spirit, the guide my higher self or God for me, it's interchangeable. Said, but was it? Well, yes, it was. You were with me. You saw the tears, that the hurt that I sheltered, I isolated. I went into Q Sarah McLaughlin song of the dogs in the kennel that they're beaten and abused and they're in the corner like this was me for like months. I didn't even leave my house. I was so raw, and so I hear, but was it I'm like, Yes, you remember, like we had this stuff, right? But was it the worst year of my life, or was it the best? Did I learn how to go inside all the time? Did I learn how to pray even more? Did I learn how to stop the facade of everything is awesome. I don't know if you watched The Lego Movie, but that song like to pretend everything's awesome. Look at him. I left my corporate job of 26 years. I've got a booming yoga business. I am having retreats, I'm going everywhere. I'm doing all the things I'm crushing it, which was the same BS I would use in my corporate job, great year, amazing, or things on Facebook and then. But that's true, not every day is awesome. Some days are really hard. Some seasons are really hard. So I learned how to go inward on a daily basis, which before it would have been like once a season. And then I created these rituals, these habits, these new patterns of my body is a vessel, and I treat it with the most utmost respect. I care for myself in a way I never had learned up until these moments, where, how do I get better rest? How do I protect myself with boundaries? How do I check and trust but verify people I let into my business who this is why I had and I was like, everybody come it's a party. And then when I get betrayed, I was like, what happened? Which I didn't do my part. So it happens in the most profound way. And what I will say that year ended up bringing me to a place where I'm having conversations like this, opening up the kimono, telling you it hurts, but we get we get better. It's no longer years of blocking the heart, and not being in coherence of unity and being curious about, how can I serve and how can I help? It was very selfish. It was very self preservation, me, me, me. I'll protect me and not let anybody in, because I have been hurt so much, and now it's like, Okay, open it up, send out the signal who wants to play in the heart center, and then decide who gets to come in that I can trust and be a part of knowing if I get hurt, I'll be okay. So my worst year air quotes. I changed that copy and ended up saying, holy crap, this year was epic. I grew in a way that I never knew I could. And here's a message I learned too. God told me in that moment, I allowed you to go through this when you're small, my business is still small. It's year two, like we're just beginning, so that when you're big, you can handle it. You've already practiced what it feels like to be betrayed in your business. And I don't wish that on anyone. Like that was brutal, but now I know, yeah, bro, it's not going to hurt as bad, or I'll see it before it happens. Yeah, good point. Similarly with my kids, that my kids with me full time, and things from that situation made the most profound, beautiful harmony in the family I have with my children. So it everything that has happened. This is Peter Crone. I'm not going to steal his thunder, but it's brilliant. Everything that happened happened past exactly how it had to happen, because it happened. We can't change it. Here's the stretch for us in this season is us thinking we can control it or change that narrative because it hurt is going to hurt us in the long run, contraction control. So instead, open it up, blow it out, fan the flames and let it stretch you. I'm getting a clearer picture now. I see that, I get it. We don't know, yeah, in the moment, we think it's awful, yeah, or painful, yeah, or comfortable, yeah. But you don't know. It's a Steve Jobs quote that you don't know how the dots connect till you're in front of it, till you look back, right? Yeah? Just have to trust, have faith. Have your faith. It's so strong. Pray for protection, for wisdom, for guidance, for more love than you could ever dream, because it's there, and then be open enough to receive it, and then know what's my next best move? Nice. What I for those of you that are listening, I'm also I can see you if you want to see us. We're on our YouTube channel. You have a lot of books behind you. And I love, I love that we set where we started cameras up with the books behind and I feel like I was recently going through my book collection at home and trying to clean it up. And I started pulling out some of my old books, and I found old letters that I had written and and old pictures that I forgot, that I'd put it in. And it's quite revealing, actually. And so I'm curious. Uh, what are you reading right now? Um, vision, vivid vision, which one vivid vision, vivid vision, who's the author it is Cameron Harold, what is it about, about creating vision for your business that is incoherence with the values of a servant heart. Here's the thing, I'm a servant of a servant heart, or observant. How do we serve it? We really want. It's the spiritual twist on creating the vision for your business. And I have another two business partners of a new company. I'm create. I'm co creating. And what we realized in the middle of one of our conversations recently is when we get on our calls, we come with compassion, with grace, we open, usually with either a meditation or a prayer. What we when first we check on each other? How are we? What do we need? Very yogic, very spiritual, supportive. And it's a man, and it's a couple of men and a woman, and we have a some feminine but masculine energy there, but it's very open and supportive. And what we realized recently is, wow, what we're building is a spiritual company with heart and soul. And I think every company intentionally starts that way, with I have a product or a service that's usually born out of some part of my life that was affected that I decided to go do this thing to create this thing to offer so other people. Don't have to go through that alone or not have the tools. I think that's the heart and soul of the intention of the company when they're born. And I think sometimes people lose sight of that when their agenda then becomes just about revenue or growth. I think that it can get a little bit hairy there. And so when we, when you we as yogis, know what heart and soul feels like on our spiritual ascension, on this alignment of us being mind, heart, soul. We're doing it in business, on these weekly or daily or on daily calls, and how we're creating it and bringing in partners. We're looking for like minded, Soul based entrepreneurs. And it changes how you work, because there's this, this ecosystem of love, and it can be real in any business. When you learn one, I think we're here for that loving connection. Heart coherence is how we we connect to each other, how we draw into each other. You'll see that when you're at the grocery store and you make eye contact with someone, and there's just this little spark and like, Oh, that was that was nice. I don't know who they were, but that felt sweet as a smile or just an awareness as a conscious human passing me, let's address Hello. So we picked this book to read together. So as we're creating the vision of the company, we sit and we visualize what are these experiences going to feel like with our clients when we're in at we're doing retreats together, and we do those retreats, what does it look like? What does it feel like? What is the vibration? What is the frequency and envisioning people's soul softening and hearts opening, and then can we bring that forward in this whole experience of us working together and being business partners? So that's one but I also have 100 books around all the time that I pick up and read. Yeah, yeah. It's a little bit of a in journals and notebooks. Is a little bit of a bad habit that it's everywhere. Yeah, yeah. A Master manifestors, my human design so there's, it's going on. Non stop. The sacred geometry is everywhere. Always shopping. I hear ya. I hear ya. I do when you practice meditation, do you feel like you're able to quiet that a little bit? Yeah. So my meditation is sound. I have I listen to neuro beats, um, a gentleman named ASA from a sound healing sound source, vibrations, as his company is who I love to meditate with. I put on my headphones, and he takes me on a journey. It's almost always spiritual, where I get to have access to the Divine, to either see or hear or feel. So almost always it's sound, because I am in bodied, but also ethereal. If it's a quick one, I can drop in with the breath. I usually have to use a box breath to calm this chaos. This, I won't call it chaos, because most of the time it is very intentional and purposeful thought patterns. But yeah, it's, it's always there's a hamster in there, and it is creating companies and changing lives non stop. So yeah, those are my favorite ways to drop in and be in meditation. But traditional sitting, I've tried. I studied under Yogananda, his his company, self realization, not in not not into it. Kundalini, which I think if I'm doing the mantras and the movements, I can feel it, but it's still not stillness. Yeah? So traditional, like the sitting for 1020, 30, an hour in stillness is, is not my jam, yeah? Yeah. Or meditation so, and I offer that too, if you're listening, you're not a bad yogi or a bad human. If you are not able to sit in stillness, one your legs, your hip flexors, or your mind. If there's a lot of chatter, you're okay. Just try all of them sound healing is incredible. You can do Joe Dispenza meditation where he's talking you through and guided meditation for changing the neural pathways. Yes, I enjoy. I like his work a lot. Yeah, it's amazing, isn't it? Yes, yes. Well, that's cool. It's funny. When you said my hamster, there is a hamster on this wheel. My daughter has a hamster, and it's the laziest hamster. Oh my gosh, it's a hamster. And we got it a wheel, and it just, it eats, it goes back to bed, and it just wakes up and it eats and it eats and it goes back to and I'm like, You need to put some air in the room. That's the kind of hamster I want my mind, though. Like, I want a nice, sleepy hamster. Oh my gosh. Well, yeah, that's cool. But would I, no, you're right. No, I wouldn't. I do like an active hamster mind. I mean, you're right, and in terms of loving work, because I agree with you, I love, I love to work. I really enjoy it. It is really fun. So you're right. It's, it's, but it's forcing myself to take time to not work, you know, to just chill, yeah, which I think is good. So embracing the hamsters. Cool the active hamster. So are you in relation to you have a workshop slash online program called awaken. Can you talk me or step walk me through a little bit about what your curriculum entails? Yes, it is a fusion of yoga and aura Veda and we take 10 habits, is the core principles, and they are very simple, but not necessarily easy, because we've forgotten or lost most of them. So our Veda is 5000 years of ancient wisdom. It's the medicinal side of yoga, the sister, if you will. And it is pharmaceutical. Let me be clear. There are no pills or prescriptions in that way. The the antidote to the the Lost self, and coming back to this identity of self, is going to take you through the ways that the yogis, the wise ones, would do, which would be tapping into circadian rhythm, utilizing all of the beauty of nature around us. Zach Dr, Zach Bush says something so profoundly beautiful, that the beauty of nature, and I mean, the way that nature is so alive, and she presents herself in such a profound way, that when you're walking and then the bird shows up, I mean, it's almost like I sometimes laugh, like, you know, who's behind the scenes, like cueing the, you know, the bird to come out, or the and then the flower, and then the deer, and then the Bambi. Like, where I live is pretty, pretty much in the woods, but like, how? But here's how they the plants and the trees have photoreceptors so they can actually see us. Receptors are to receive the photosynthesis, but they can see us on like a heat map in their imaging, so they know we're there. And Dr Bush describes this as as God's way of showing you love at the deepest level of this presentation of we are here to support you and guide you, and sending this frequency that feels to me very lovely and beautiful, more so than if I'm driving through a city, and I see concrete jungle, right? I don't feel that coherence. So coming back to what my program is about is really coming back to nature and to self, some of the super simple habits that are part of the Ayurvedic pattern, which was for preventing disorder, Disease, inflammation in the body. So in the West, where we are, there's so much disorder and disease and inflammation that I'm not able to necessarily prevent it, but we can course correct it, things like healing cancers, healing Hashimotos, healing diabetes. Caesar from some of my current clients, I am not a doctor, and I'm not saying you don't need a doctor. However, if you're looking to supplement or add other ways to heal based on, oh, by the way, our our health system in the US is 200 years old, and this is 5000 years of wisdom. So for me, I trust this system. I've done it on my own work. I healed high cortisol, chronic stress, fatigue, low thyroid. My body was inflamed pretty deeply during the pandemic. I've had two spine surgeries. Those of us from yoga understand the root chakra and disorder and the energetic system. I was supposed to get a three to three bird of our fusion and refuse that and have healed my whole body using these habits. So one habit, the first one is an earlier, lighter dinner. So we eat way too much in this country, I think it's mostly based on emotional stress, and these need to satiate or to be busy, so we aren't still, and when we choose to eat earlier, in Ayurveda, that would be lunchtime. So lunch is the largest meal of the day. The sun is the highest. We have the the most access to heat from the sun. So Agni, our natural digestive fire, has more access to burn through the fuel, not food. Nutrients as fuel to to allow us to get through the day and you and transfer that to energy. The dinner used to be called supper, which was a supplement to lunch, so a soup or salad or something light. Why? Because when we go to bed, we want to detox. The body not be digesting. If we're digesting late into the night, the body doesn't get to naturally detoxify. So we think, Oh, it's January 1. I had a bender of a year. I'm going to detox for a week. When your body does it every single night, all of the organs are detoxing. How do you know the evidence is, if you would tongue scrape in the morning, you will see all the Amma, which is undigested food, undigested emotion. It's this white and or yellow. Could be pungent substance that comes off your tongue. And you want to get to know this, because the map of the tongue shows the organs of the body that is processing pressing out the inflammation. And if we can get the inflammation out. We can prevent antio from disease. Inflammation is the number one cause of disease. Cancer is only between five and 10% genetic so what the hell's going on? Everybody I know has cancer, not my clients, but knock on wood. But this is all that we hear, right? So earlier that our dinner, so we can have less heaviness in the body. Come more light. Still using all of that nourishment is fuel. Having your supplement in the early evening before, say, six o'clock, you have a full night of deep, deep, restorative rest. You get full detoxification. You wake up in the morning like a fresh new baby. You are ready to go. There is no heaviness or toxins coming out. The second one is earlier lighter dinner. I'm sorry, earlier to bed. Second habit, if we go to bed after 10pm we're stealing tomorrow's energy. Add that on to you ate late a late night, you know, pizza or whatever. You're still drinking wine. I used to drink wine till, you know, 11 o'clock at night, like that was my job, and I woke up wondering, why do I feel like crap every day? Well, huh, I am avoiding my body of its natural function. Our bodies are so incredible, miraculous, and they can self clean, cleanse and heal. So those are two of the habits we go through. 10 of them. We front end of the course with values, habit, identity, evolution, like, Who do I want to be? At the end of this course, we do some higher self visualization. We call on higher self to show you who you can become as you shed all of this old stuff, old habits, the old fear, the old limiting beliefs, the old pain, the suffering, journey of getting curious, of what do I want to let go of, and who can I become? How can I serve? How can I help? First of all, doing all of that for yourself and the community is probably the best part. So we're together. We talk about our fears, our pains, our desires, our purpose, our curiosity. And they lose weight. They shift and change. They quit jobs they don't love. They create new companies. It's the most wild ride and journey I've ever seen, because I get to witness is that they're growing and changing and healing and falling back. I mean, not everyone is on that progressive Quantum Leap, but they're all They're all a part of expressing an expanse, expansiveness. So that's a little bit about the course. And anyone's interested, I'm happy to jump on a call or talk a little bit more if it's a good fit for them. Very cool. That's awesome. Jennifer, you definitely have, it sounds like you put together a really solid, well thought out program. Good job. When did you implement it? When did it go live? It's almost four years old now. Very cool. Is it something that people jump in at any point they want? Or do you have, like, start and stop points? Yeah, it's right now. It's monthly. They can enroll. Each month, they'll become a part of a new cohort, and they get fed into the current group. So there'll be some people that have been already through maybe one semester. There's a lot of the content is on demand. The live calls are weekly, and then they also get one on one coaching with me too. So it's never like, Wait, they're ahead of me. I need to catch up. It's more like, whoa. They did some incredible stuff. One of my clients, for example, I just saw her, and she looks like a different woman. And I'm like, what? Tell me everything, because we were on Zoom, but not in person. So she went through the whole course, she lost 70 pounds. Nice. Tell me She looks like a different person. But the fullest part wasn't just the weight loss, the shedding of the inflammation and the heaviness. It was a lot of old shame, old grief, old pain. So her eyes were softer, her face was brighter, her smile was just her whole entire face, the the whole the whole body, heart and soul will change. It's not just about healing from disorder and disease, it's reclaiming your life. I hear ya. I'm really curious about when you said that you were recommended to have three vertebra fused and you decided not to. Are Do you still have to manage your spinal alignment because I had a recent a similar diagnosis, and I've opted as well to heal it, not or to, you know, when I think of the word healing and back pain, personally, it seems a little bit more like learning to manage and and having, like, a management strategy and program and, and then, if you were To ask me, like, Well, are you fully healed? I don't know how I'd answer that, because I deal with it on the daily, and it's like, some days it's easy and some days it's hard. So I'm just curious if you can clarify a little more of your own personal journey in relation to that. Like, is it something where you're like, No, I actually completely forgot that I had any issue and I can do everything I was doing before with no residual whatsoever. Or are you more on like a awareness of maintenance through awareness? Yeah, amazing question, and it was a little bit of all of that to start what I think part of it was the defiant moment of, I'm not doing that. He The doctor told me that it would take me nine months to be able to do full yoga again. I kind of like literally saved my life, and so we're not ever not doing that. Even if I couldn't teach I still can't not do yoga. So it was a hard No. So I did the plasma injection into my facet joints, which. Was out of pocket, was incredibly expensive, and it did cortisone shots first, and then the plasma. And that worked for a couple months. And I had so much mobility that my yoga class I was crushing it, and it was like, I haven't been able to do this for years. And then that wore off, and that would have just been a continuation. And I kept thinking, if it gets so bad, I'll get the surgery. And then one day, I saw an ad for acupuncture near me, and it was when I came back from a yoga retreat and I had made some declarations over my body. And here's something else that I've learned that was really profound from an energetic perspective and physiological so we are the conductor and the orchestrator of the cells, and we need to command them what to do. And in a way of with authority, I command clean, clean the house, up, get to work, clean and remove anything in this body that is toxic or is of inflammation. And I started having that declaration and the belief and the faith that they were in their like little brushes, like going into the bones and the tissue and the ligaments and cleaning out all the scar tissue. And that's what happened, was it wasn't something new for me. I had two spine surgeries that were pretty aggressive, and there was just so much scar tissue in there that I had very little mobility and flexibility for the yoga that I love to do. And that just pissed me off enough. And I'm like, I need to get this resolved. Um, so the what happened with the acupuncture, she put me on a very progressive plan that I saw her three times a week. Again, it was pretty expensive. It was all out of pocket, and I just decided I didn't care. And that's where I was at. It was enough. Was enough with what I was trying to do with Western medicine. I wanted to go down the eastern path. And she also used the little electro electrolysis with a little stamp, a stamp, they call it. And quickly, maybe the first month was it was pretty irritated, is the best word that my maybe inflamed. It was agitated, irritated. So what you do is put the needles in where there was all this old scar tissue, and it's on my right side, which was where the first dissectomy was, and then it stopped being irritated, that then I had, like, hypermobility forward folds, like I could wrap my arms around my back, and I'm like, holy crap. This is, this is what yogis. I never had that, because when I started yoga, I had already had my two spine surgery, so I was never at that type of Yogi. I'm not doing, you know, all sorts of like, traditional, you know, primary series, Ashtanga. I'm doing mostly flow. So that was a four month treatment that pretty much changed everything about my spine, where it was no longer getting caught, snagged, hung up. It used to feel like bone on bone, which it was, but now it doesn't get caught like that, these bones that would catch on each other, that was excruciating all day, no matter what. And now I do, I do get adjusted every three weeks by my chiropractor. Maintenance, I will do acupuncture maybe once every two months. Maintenance, if something gets caught up, I might throw some cups on it my own. I'll which feels so good, if I cup it, and then I just stand there, and if I move a little bit and, like, pulls really, like, intensely, I love that kind of deep feeling, yeah, and that's it. So the pain is gone, nice. I have to give myself a couple. I can hit the middle spine like l2 and hit the left hip and crack it myself the day. Yes, but yeah. And I've just learned to right now, and we talked earlier, just bring this full circle with how crazy the world feels. I've learned that I need more Yin than flow. I was just doing the 99 pose with the twist, and it was awful and amazing and excruciating, but delicious. I mean, it was all of it. And I thought, wow, I haven't stayed in and we did 60 minutes. I cut out a slow flow class that morning. I'm like, Listen, ladies, I don't feel my best today. This was the other day. I was just exhausted, and we did we did Yin instead. And when we were done, my cells were like, Yes, girl, this is so good. It was amazing. So less flow, more Yin, but I still flow almost every other day I hear ya. It definitely requires a balance, doesn't it, especially with just like maintenance and handling all these incredible things going on with the body. Oh, man, Jennifer, I'm so excited to have this chance to meet you. I really enjoy hearing your stories. I think you've got incredible enthusiasm for life and work and family. So it's been a real pleasure to hear about your your journey, your hero's journey, the journey back to yourself. Yes, yeah, and thank you for taking time out of your day. And it's through our mutual friend Michael Gibbs, I was able to I got introduced to you. So thank you so much, Michael, for introducing both of us and I. Um, I, I enjoyed the other day when, after we communicated via email, you had asked a question. You said, How can I best serve you? And when you when you were mentioning the book that you're reading, I kind of got that sense of what you're saying in terms of approaching life from that angle of of how can I best serve the people that are in front of me, best serve my clients that are in front of me, best serve my family, best serve my my friends, my so I really appreciate that I enjoyed after just that little interaction and then hearing you voice it again here, I think that's so inspirational and important, and to be able to shift our attention in that direction, seems like that might play a positive role in dealing and trans transforming from the state of chaos that we we potentially might be feeling right now. So thank you so much. I can't wait to have another conversation with you, and is there anything that you would like to use as our grand finale closing statement? Do you have a message for the masses? Yeah, just said that we can be free and we can come home, and it's not far. It's you had mentioned my books, and I usually will share like I've bought all the books, I read, the books I did, the podcast I've done, the courses, the retreats, I looked everywhere and anywhere for the antidote to the pain that I was suffering from. And it's so simple, but so hard to just surrender to it's in us. You don't have to go far. So the idea of looking and seeking save the money. Start with a breath work practice. Start on meditation in your room. Go to yoga local studio. Find someone to support you, a guide and a teacher, and just begin. Are all worth that. Thank you, Jennifer, you're welcome. Thank you guys. Native yoga Todd cast is produced by myself. The theme music is dreamed up by Bryce Allen. If you like this show, let me know if there's room for improvement. I want to hear that too. We are curious to know what you think and what you want more of what I can improve. And if you have ideas for future guests or topics, please send us your thoughts to info at Native yoga center. You can find us at Native yoga center.com, and hey, if you did like this episode, share it with your friends, rate it and review and join us next time. Well, yeah,