Native Yoga Toddcast

Tara Stiles - Lead & Lean with Love

February 14, 2023 Todd Mclaughlin / Tara Stiles Season 1 Episode 103
Native Yoga Toddcast
Tara Stiles - Lead & Lean with Love
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Show Notes Transcript

I am so excited to share this podcast with you. ⭐️ Meet the amazing TARA STILES!⭐️

Tara Stiles is the co-founder of Strala Yoga, best-selling author, and well-being expert. Tara revolutionized yoga for millions, transforming a practice so often seen as dogmatic, and guru-based, into an everyday movement that supports ease and well-being. 

Strala Yoga is practiced in more than 100 countries, thousands of Guides lead Strala classes around the globe, and Tara shares yoga with thousands of people on the Strala Yoga app. She has been profiled by The New York Times, Times of India, The Times (UK), and featured in most major national and international magazines.

Vist Tara on her website: www.tarastiles.com
Also on here Strala Yoga Website: stralayoga.com

During this conversation we covered topics like:

  • How she got started in yoga.
  • The importance of sharing your passion.
  • How  you can create your own path.
  • Teaching the foundation of movement.
  • The easiest mistake yoga teachers often make in class.
  • How to "lean on yourself."
  • Connecting the dots in the chakra system.
  • Is it legal to touch people in yoga class?

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LinkedIn: Todd McLaughlin

Todd McLaughlin:

Welcome to Native Yoga Toddcast. So happy you are here. My goal with this channel is to bring inspirational speakers to the mic in the field of yoga, massage bodywork and beyond. Follow us @nativeyoga, and check us out at nativeyogacenter.com. All right, let's begin. Well, yeah, I'm so excited to have Tara Stiles joining me today on the podcast. Tara, thank you so much. How are you?

Tara Stiles:

I'm doing good. Thanks so much for having me. I'm excited to chat with you too. Thank you.

Todd McLaughlin:

So for those of you that listen to the podcast with Yulady Saluti, she spoke so highly of Tara, that it got me excited to reach out to you Tara and, and get a chance to speak with you. So thank you for being so gracious and accepting my invitation. I know you have a busy schedule. Are you in New York City currently? Oh, I'm not actually I just got back from Singapore yesterday. But we're in Illinois. We got this place in Illinois a couple of years ago to be close to family and kind of support everyone here. So we'll be going to New York in the fall for DAISY school. But we've been here for a couple of years, kind of based out of hometown America. So that's been really pretty sweet. Actually. Wonderful. Not in Chicago. And it sounds more like in a rural setting. Yeah, you got it. You know, because you know that, you know, America, a lot of friends in Europe are like, Oh, Illinois, Chicago. Yeah, we're pretty far south. So the weather is actually a little bit warmer here than in Chicago. But But yeah, all my family's here. They're farmers and hanging around. So it's been nice to catch up with everybody and just be together. That's so cool as how the town that you grew up in. I didn't I grew up a little bit closer to Chicago, but everybody is from here. So my parents got a place down here a few years ago, so everybody's kind of in the same location. So it's nice to just be around for sure. I hear yeah, that's, that's cool. And especially having farm life is pretty amazing. Do they have like a big farm? Are they more like cottage farmers? Are they like, where they have chickens and veggies? Are they more of like big time farmers? I mean, I don't know how big time but but kind of all of it. My aunt's all my relatives have gardens and things like that. So come summertime and late fall, you've got everything and then they can at all for the winter. And you. That's awesome. Yeah, they do the veggies for the personal consuming. And then they do corn and wheat and things like that. And I remember a few years ago asking my cousin who's a few years older than me, she does a lot of the big kind of combining and stuff we get to write along. But I asked her where the corn goes, you know, after reading Michael Pollan's book and all of these kinds of things. And I know there's a lot of the problems with America, but they found a way to sell their corn for hard plastics and windshields. So I thought that was kind of cool. Just everybody's trying to do better. Yeah, I hear yeah, that's, that's amazing. Are you are you an organic gardener? Or a Do you have time for a garden? Or do you just get to benefit from your family, I just get the better.

Tara Stiles:

To be honest, I would love to. But you know, we're not here in the summers all the time. And I'd love to do. I'd love to actually do a greenhouse, I've seen that you can kind of buy these pop up greenhouses. They're becoming more easy and economical and fun. You kind of pop that up in your yard now and just want to click buy these things for a few 100 bucks. And maybe I'll pop one of those up at some point. And, you know, see if I can get that going. Very cool. What was it like over you said Singapore? Yeah, Singapore. How was Singapore? Yeah, it was great. This festival called glow festival brought me out for about a week and I got to lead classes there, which was really fun. And I've been to Singapore a few times. So first of all, it was really fun just to catch up with old friends and new friends and just be back in person with people you know, I'm just one of the millions that are so grateful to just be together with people and and do yoga and they had it was a great festival and I got to kind of feel like that studio effect. Again. It was a couple of classes a day and there was other teachers

Unknown:

and other experiences and lots of people's. So it was just really nice to hang around and practice and just talk with people and hug people and things like that,

Todd McLaughlin:

that sounds really cool is was structured sort of like a Yoga Journal type conference where you like a couple of teachers were teaching in different rooms at the same time and the participants would join in, or was it that, like, there was one room, and then you would take turns teaching with the other teachers?

Unknown:

Yeah, it was just one big room and they did this cool thing it was inside. And they had these kind of interactive screens that were like almost like a jungle. So they did this really neat kind of tech thing. And at first, I thought everybody would be overwhelmed seeing these screens, but the room was really humongous. So kind of in the distance, you'd see an elephant kind of walking by and things like that. So it was pretty unique and, and fun to just hang around and be together with people for sure.

Todd McLaughlin:

Cool. When you had a chance to teach, what type of class did you teach? Did you do like a Vinyasa flow, or what is on the forefront of your specialty these days?

Unknown:

Sure, I guess what I've always loved to lead and, and so will actually was a really cool opportunity to have so many different time different time slots, you know, it's kind of like a regular studio. And they wanted a variety of classes. So some a bit more energetic, some more gentle, some kind of in between. And everything that I love to lead is based in easygoing movement, breath, body connection, this kind of almost East Asian influence in the yoga, but it doesn't need to come across that way so much. But really, the idea of moving well comes from Tai Chi and shiatsu and things like that. But everybody usually says, Oh, that yoga class felt really nice. Or I didn't know I could do something so challenging without forcing myself or It felt nice to move from my center and harmony. So I usually don't, especially in just an open class, say, Okay, now we're going to be doing tai chi and Shih Tzu and learning all of these things, because I just think that's, you know, kind of too much located in the mind. So we just move and breathe and, and feel good. And that way.

Todd McLaughlin:

That's really cool. Do you, when you, what is your timeline in terms of how long have you been practicing? And how long have you been teaching?

Unknown:

Oh, gosh, well, I think like a lot of people's yoga story, I got really lucky, finding yoga was in my ballet program growing up. So I was thinking I was going to be a contemporary dancer. That was my whole life stream. And my ballet teacher brought yoga into our program, I guess I was 1718. And instantly, just like everybody else, felt like this is amazing. And, and then my second thought was, why don't all my friends do this? Why, you know, I felt like my family, had these values had these philosophical ideas about life. But we weren't doing this physical practice that I felt could just kind of crack everything open and really guide life. So I just wanted to learn more and share this kind of all the same time. So that kind of just kicked me off and learning more about it. And then at first kind of casually sharing what I was learning with people. And then more and more things led me to doing that with more of my time. So yeah, it's the beginning of my life, my teenage years ago.

Todd McLaughlin:

That's amazing. It's a nice time. That's a fair timeline then in that, so obviously, you got introduced to yoga first, can you give me a kind of timeline view of an order of different modalities that you then started to pursue and study?

Unknown:

Sure, yeah. Yoga was the first big practice for sure. And then I got to New York pretty shortly after to dance and do other things. But I was always kind of asking people, Hey, do you do yoga? Where do you do yoga, if you don't do yoga, let's do a little bit together this kind of a thing. And I think because New York has everything I was starting to find shiatsu places, and some I are Vedic practitioners, and all of these kind of, you know, modalities one by one. And I think like a lot of people who have started to learn one and then learn the others, you wonder, okay, are these connected? How are they connected? They they don't appear to be in isolation from each other. How can we? Or how can I live in more harmony with myself and not just practice to be more knowledgeable about these modalities, but to integrate them actually in my life and to feel better and live a good life of purpose? And how can I start to communicate that in a sensible way to other people if that starts to make sense to me, so I think I got lucky again, just being in New York and, and having these people also just come to my class. Ask them say, Oh, the way that you like to touch people and yoga feels like she got soon I think maybe I should learn she got to because I didn't like to kind of push people into poses, I like to kind of just be with somebody right there and lean a little bit, oh, if I can maybe just lean on a meridian, maybe that will be a little bit better. So I started to learn about that. And then my, my husband grew up doing tai chi. And he kept saying to me, Oh, how you really like this easygoing movement within yoga not being kind of fixed in the final position and having this idea that there isn't one final position. He's like, Tara, that's tai chi, and I'm thinking, okay, maybe I shouldn't eat cheese. So as you kind of glide into these things, there's a forever lifetime practice and study of it. So I think that's just what's so cool about kind of understanding that all of these wisdoms really can come together and help you live a better life for sure.

Todd McLaughlin:

Nice. How long have you been married?

Unknown:

Oh, gosh. So Mike always gets mad at me because I forget

Todd McLaughlin:

to put you on the spot. Take your time. Take your time doing that.

Unknown:

We got married in 2008. Yeah, we had a few. We had like the city hall thing, just super simple. And I dragged my family to this cool kind of hippie place in Jamaica, because a lot of them hadn't left. America. So we all kind of just did a pretend wedding there. It was just kind of to get everybody out of the country and to have fun and jump in the ocean together. So that was fun.

Todd McLaughlin:

Oh, nice. Yeah, very cool. And do you do you guys have children? Yeah, we

Unknown:

have one little girl Daisy. She's almost six. So she's.

Todd McLaughlin:

Congratulations, right? Yeah, you actually have a moment. She that's cool. I can do a podcast. I hear ya. Does she travel with you? Well, actually, it sounds like he went to Singapore alone.

Unknown:

I did. Yeah. So that one was I mean, it's super far to go to Singapore. And she's actually been to Singapore, but in my inside of my tummy. But, but she's been around with us to most places, so a lot of Europe and things like that. But yeah, Singapore was just a little bit too far. And we're lucky Mike and I and her are all kind of, you know, we're all together all the time. So it's pretty easy for us to decide if one person is going to go or if we're all going to go or who can kind of hang out with who and she really wanted to go but we compromise I said, Well, if I bring you some really cool, interesting presents from Asia, would that be okay? She said only if you bring me just have some time. Just just to myself with everybody and to be able to say and Yeah, talk, one go out to dinner and, and just have days with people, you know, just focusing on grownups too. So that was nice. Good point.

Todd McLaughlin:

Yeah, sometimes when the children are around, we've had this feeling of when teaching is done, or the class is over, I gotta hurry up and get home. There's so many duties to do at home. So I hear you, it's nice to have a little break like that. I'm, I'm curious. I'm just starting to get on YouTube and put content on YouTube. And so then when I found you on there, I was like, Whoa, tear has got a huge following on YouTube. Can you tell me what the how that came to be for you? Is it something that happened really naturally for you? And you were really early in and just started putting content up? And it just started to explode? Or have you had to work really hard at it?

Unknown:

Oh, gosh, well, yeah, I definitely started at the very beginning of YouTube, I just that was my growing up. When I came to New York, it was still I mean, there wasn't definitely wasn't social media, there was email and flip cams and things like that. And when 2006 happened, I learned about YouTube. And it was literally just funny cat videos and things like that. So I was starting to share yoga, and I was thinking about my friends back home, who couldn't come to New York and obviously they couldn't, there was no yoga studio. So I would make these short videos just with my flip cam or with the camera on the MacBook and upload them so I just started there. And again, it wasn't and it still is not meant to be some strategy or even a you know, a business or an idea for that. It was literally just to share videos with my friends back

Todd McLaughlin:

home. Yeah.

Unknown:

And you know, the people started watching which was cool. And because it was the Internet back then I didn't know if those people were real or if it was just my mom. So it was that that kind of people watching those and making a little bit of comments kind of led me to what felt more real for me which was work writing for magazines and making some books and Having people in the studio that were starting to come because they had saw a video online. So to me that was real. And the online stuff was like, okay, that's, that's cool. But online is exciting for me if it leads to in person hugging and doing. So. So once you know the in person stuff started to kind of take over and, and more things with the studio started growing, I kind of just stopped making YouTube videos because I didn't have any time anymore to do that. And it was sort of a means to do this. I guess that's how it kind of ended up so. So yeah, I don't really think about YouTube so much. But if there's something to upload, sometimes I do, but I don't really put any energy to it. But it's been great for me in this way of meeting people. And I still meet people just randomly on the street that are in their 20s now and they'll say to me, oh my gosh, when I was 14 in my bedroom, I was I found a video. And they would search like yoga for breakups or something and their boyfriend or girlfriend broke up with them. And they're standing there with like their mom. And their mom was like, Who is this person you're talking to? And what were you doing with my daughter online? So, for me, I think it's really wonderful that a lot of people that hadn't been able to come to yoga studio, or now people are just so easy at using online can literally just search around and find somebody that they relate to, and give it a try and have this really profound connection with themselves. And maybe that leads to coming to something in person or connecting in some other way. But But yeah, I'm really grateful for all of these people that I get to meet now who have kind of discovered yoga in some way from those, those times that I was also discovering yoga. So that's, that's really cool. But I'm sure it's gonna be the same or it will be the same or husband for you as well. It's just such a beautiful way to connect. And then it kind of keeps, you know, going like that as long as you are interested in talking with people pretty

Todd McLaughlin:

sure that's cool, Tara that's actually really refreshing to hear. Because it sounds like the way that you came at it from that organic approach. And and not really trying too hard and more just the enjoyment factor is is nice to hear. Because sometimes it seems like now we see all these courses and things you can do to like, how do you do it? And how do you do it? So that you're a superstar and that type of thing? And I liked it. It's nice to hear that. It's been a natural process for you.

Unknown:

Yeah, I think anybody that has something to share can just share it. You know, I think there's so much because it's just been around for longer, there's going to be that harder to get in fear mindset, or whatever it is, I don't know. But I think it still is YouTube. I mean, you just put a video. You don't need to go permission for it. So if you've got something to share, share it. I think that's just, you know, the easiest, easiest way to connect with people still. So one thing

Todd McLaughlin:

I thought, Oh, thank you. One thing I thought that was really cool that you Lottie had said was that when she was searching for yoga teacher training program, and then she reached out to you and you had just encouraged her like she thought she had to do a headstand in the middle of a room for 30 minutes to kind of prove that she was worthy. And you had taken this approach of like, well, if you are passionate about yoga, come join us. And you know, and she had made mentioned that you encouraged each of the teacher trainers to start to promote themselves via a platform such as YouTube or anything else that's out there. Is that something that you still do with your teacher train your teacher training students that are joining you? Do you encourage them to learn how to market themselves and get their message out there?

Unknown:

Yeah, I think it's definitely a really useful part of the conversation. And now that we've grown and people know about straw and things like that, it's it's a day that we spent at the training and it's the strangest thing. It's the time to talk about yourself and how you're going to do this. And everybody gets quiet and everybody, you know, more quiet than they're normally with us. And they kind of lean in really close and they have their notebook and it's time to write down everything. And hopefully by the end of it, we figure out together that you really can create your own path and there isn't one way and you don't need to have followers in order to have success. And you can do things in so many different ways. And I'm happy to share not just my story of onlines in person, but so many other people's stories of whether it's teaching in your local community to four or five people and then those people live an amazing life and then you can take those four or five people on a retreat somewhere or maybe some of them want to do A training with you. And that's enough to sustain you, whether that's your only job or you want that to be your only job or if it's part of your life in this way. And what I've really learned with sharing, sort of how to get yourself out there is, it's really horrible to just have this goal of one path, which is, you know, whether it's, you know, following these online courses, and you must do it this way in order to succeed and, and it just seems so devastating. And, and also, yeah, not, not necessary. I know so many people that are unknown in the world, but they have these beautiful, happy and also successful lives and businesses and families and all of these things from sharing yoga. So it doesn't need to be one way. And we don't even need to idolize people who are kind of out there and things like that. I think that sort of, if that's part of what you enjoy about leading, and I'm just a big ham. And I think because I was a dancer, I'm used to kind of presenting myself this way. But But that's me. And I don't think that everybody is like that. And it does, it shouldn't even be a goal. I don't think it's better than a local yoga teacher reaching 10 people, if I can reach more online, who cares? You know, if you're helping somebody in a real way, then that's massive. So I think there's a real value, and just sharing that there's so many different ways to to be a leader and to really have a good impact for sure.

Todd McLaughlin:

That's a great answer, Tara. Super, that makes me feel a lot more relaxed. Yeah, I think it's stressing out about it. But

Unknown:

it's like, you know, and it's only gonna get scarier and scarier, the more and the quicker every other trends get in. I mean, I'm freaked out all the time, too. I mean, it's intense out there. And, and you can see people it used to be, I mean, you probably remember this 10 years ago, selfies, were almost embarrassing, okay, if I'm going to take a selfie, I'm going to kind of hide into it, or I'm going to do my yoga pose on the street and kind of hide. And now it's just commonplace to be filming every moment of your life. And maybe for a few people that's healthy. But for the most of us, that's just not healthy at all. So I think it's really important to just figure out how you want to live and know that that's whatever that answer is, is the best way to live for you. Sure.

Todd McLaughlin:

Yes. Great point. I just finished reading a book called The Myth of normal by Gabor Ma Tei. Have you heard of that one? I haven't. But I'm gonna read it now. And it's a good one. And he really is bringing to light how big T trauma and little T trauma plays a role in our current health and wellness. And you do get a chance to work with a lot of people and travelled around and see what different yoga communities are doing and having that online interaction. I'm curious what what, what are you seeing today in the world in terms of how much yoga can play a positive role in stress management and grappling some of these challenges of facing challenging past and how to move forward today?

Unknown:

Yeah, well, I think what's so interesting about the opportunity is, I mean, this is kind of oversimplifying. But we can do yoga in a way where we're kind of isolating and disconnecting and saying, well, that pose is better than this pose. And if I get there, that's going to be good. So if I can't get there yet, I'm gonna make this modification. But tomorrow, maybe I can get there. And that whole mindset is kind of horrible for healing. In this way, you may be opening up more space or flexibility, but it's really about I'm not good enough now. But tomorrow, or the next day, I'll be good enough and look at that person over there that can do it. And if I can only do that, then I'll be healed, or I'll be better. So why don't you come over and push me into that pose, so I can do it now and all of this stuff. And obviously, there's thankfully a huge reckoning within yoga and all of that kind of pushing and forcing and struggling. But what I love about the opportunity is when you really start to move in more harmony with yourself, you feel good immediately, and you progress in a way where you're moving all the parts of you together, which also allows you to feel something not just feel good and feel amazing, but you notice how you feel and then you can respond to how you feel as well. And that's what I've always loved about leading yoga in general even before I figured out I should study Taichi and the healing arts which like directly say this all the time yoga, for some reason, even though the opportunities there, we haven't heard it so loud. It's more about you know, you see the pose and you say okay, if I can get into that and and something good is gonna happen for me. Or if I can sit and meditate, then something good is gonna happen. But when you kind of move around all the positions and treat the whole practice, as a practice, not just a collection of individual endpoints, then wow, there's this huge opportunity to notice what's going on with you. And I just love leading like that, because then I don't have to do anything. I don't have to say, Okay, this is going to help your trauma, your ideas, because that just makes people think, okay, am I supposed to be healing something or thinking about something right now, but then, after practice, is my favorite moment of just kind of hanging around. And if people want to come up, or I kind of just move around and just kind of, am there if anybody wants to say anything, but people always talk about themselves in this really cool opening way of, Oh, I was doing this position. And it made me think of this, or I'm going through this right now. And I haven't told anybody, you know, and it really just opens up the space to process and talk and heal in this very kind of real and normal way. Not an I am healing myself. It's sort of like, wow, oh, my gosh, I think I'm healing myself. So becomes, it becomes possible, for sure.

Todd McLaughlin:

Yeah, that's a really good answer. Have you had any challenges in your life where you have been injured, and you have been able to heal yourself?

Unknown:

I thankfully haven't been injured. And I think that's basically only because I'm pretty lazy, like, I'm not going to force. Thinking about when I first started doing yoga in New York, and there was more of that kind of really intense positions. And I'm pretty flexible, because I was a dancer. So teachers would say, oh, Tara, like put your feet on your head. And I just be like, No. At that time, it was like, Well, why are you doing that I just didn't want to hurt myself. I mean, I was younger, so I probably wouldn't have but I just wasn't interested in kind of pushing or forcing. So thankfully, avoided, that's cool. So far. But you know, I have gotten close to exhausting myself, I think just from pure excitement of opportunity and doing things and being busy. And I think, I don't think I reached the point of burnout or kind of hardcore health concern, but I definitely got close. And I was thinking, Wait a minute, I'm really trying to help myself and other people slow down and feel better, but I'm moving a million miles a minute. And I'm, I'm busying myself, just to distract myself from something else. So I kind of noticed that that's my natural tendency to I love to kind of do and be doing things. So you know, for me, it comes down to body position. If I'm leaning forward, and I'm busy, and I'm doing I need to just recenter myself lean back a little bit and then kind of, you know, command the spaceship from there. Yeah. Yeah. Because that part of it is a constant. You know, reflection for myself. But that's, that's the fun part.

Todd McLaughlin:

That's cool. When you do you teach your students and our trainees how to do hands on assists?

Unknown:

Yes. So what I love about knowing or not knowing, but studying Tai Chi and Shiatsu is, first of all, having this approach of connecting before you actually touch somebody. So how you move in the space, how you just are as a person, how you're standing up and coming down to the ground, how you're walking near somebody to touch them as all kind of in the, in the, you know, umbrella of actual physical touch. So I love that kind of whole exploration. I mean, I could, I could lead workshops for days on making good connection with somebody without actually touching them. And people like, oh my gosh, it feels like somebody's touching me, you know, when you have somebody around you. So I love that. And then all the physical touch comes from the practice of shiatsu. So it's not so much like pressure points and doing stuff but you know, leaning on somebody's back or moving them in a direction so they can make a choice if they want to go further or back off or change their body position, kind of things like that. And then some more easier things to do when somebody's you know, lying down or in a more stable position where you can lean on meridians without somebody thinking, Oh, I didn't sign up for some shiatsu treatment. But that feels really nice on my back. I don't know what's going on. So those kinds of things, but it's really nice, especially now that the whole conversation has exploded around good touch and bad touch around how can you actually create a good environment or a safe environment just through how you are in the space and how you as the leader are just moving around and paying attention to people and and what kind of level are you putting yourself on like physically? Are you walking by somebody's head or are you kind of moving around? are you crawling around a little bit? So there's so much I love exploring there that really helps people just understand basic body awareness where they are in space and where other people are. And, you know, you could have really good intentions and still mess the whole thing up. So there's so much practice, you know, with with moving around, and then also with the physical connection to. I love it, though.

Todd McLaughlin:

That's cool. It sounds like you're putting a little more emphasis on. Let's actually have fun. Yeah. And then dancing around that a little bit. Like, let's actually have fun first versus is really like serious hardcore, like, mastery element or maybe encouraging mastery through lightheartedness. Or

Unknown:

yeah, I think it's really cool. For me, I love putting the emphasis on moving well, instead of trying to get into a version of an endpoint. So if you move well, from your center, you know, you can rock for the back and explore a handstand. But if you just try to get both legs up in a handstand, then after you do that, what else is there? You know, so if you rock forward or back and have your knees bend, move from your middle, then you know your body can explore, you know, she's doing that. And then all of a sudden, she's inventing, like opening her legs and doing all this stuff. And nobody really taught her that but you kind of teach the foundation that moving well. And that I think makes you feel happier, it makes you feel light hearted. But really, the practice is in this very simple thing of figuring out which you can always get better at your whole life, which is how can you move yourself better and every single moment and using the right amount of effort and no extra tension. And that's kind of a forever fun practice. For sure it is. I think it is fun. Anyway, I get excited.

Todd McLaughlin:

But that's awesome. I even when I watch your YouTube videos, your language skill is so like clear and concise. And, like the cadence and rhythm that you speak with is really, like I enjoy just like even if I close my eyes, and I'm not watching the video, like the way that you talk and deliver is seems really smooth. We we do a teacher training program. And when the students are learning, there's they one of the things I'll hear from them is I thought it's gonna be really easy to talk. And now that I'm actually trying to lead with my voice, I'm finding that all those words that I heard my teacher say I thought they would just come out automatically. And it's a little bit harder than I thought. What type of tips and tricks do you use to help get people to feel comfortable to discharge speaking fluidly and fluently? The way that it seems like you've you've gotten good at,

Unknown:

oh, well, that's nice. I mean, I'm getting better at it for sure I look at things I've done. I mean, because my whole life doing this has been on video like 10 years ago, and I feel like I'm talking like an auctioneer.

Todd McLaughlin:

When you go back and listen to it like you're critical of what am I

Unknown:

doing? Yeah, for sure. You know, definitely. But yeah, I feel like now what we lead in the trainings, the language is the very last thing, not the very, very last thing, but I delay it as much as possible. Because something that I think is really useful is if you can really do the thing that you're doing with your breath, body connection, then you could describe it. And when you're literally only describing what you're doing, then you have a chance at connecting with people. And I think the easiest mistake to make for yoga teachers is telling people what to think and what to feel. And that takes so much time as well. And yoga teachers often think, well, if I don't tell somebody how to think and how to feel my class isn't going to be special, or it's not going to be connected or this spiritual moment. But I found just the opposite. If somebody tells me how to think and feel either I agree with them 100% I'm like, yes, the light is coming down, or I'm like, What are they talking about, you know, or I'm disconnected. But if somebody can guide me through step by step what to do, and they can stay open, it helps me stay open, and all of a sudden, wow, I'm connecting with myself. And even in our trainings, people that have signed up, they really resist this idea of only describing what you're doing because they think that's not special enough. It's got to be more and I'm thinking well, you're, you're the more and if you're teaching people literally how to move themselves well, and what you're teaching is the breath body connection. Well, that's the yoga right there and everything else is happening. You know, you are a body, your mind, you are a spirit. You don't need to tell somebody now feel spiritual. It's like that's already happening if you're, if you're out of the way. So I think that's, that's it's simple, really, when we let ourselves just describe what we're doing because it puts the emphasis back on Well, what are you doing, and where are your bad habits and How are you doing this in a disconnected way, because whatever your bad habits are, you're going to just teach those and pass those on to your students as well. So really figure out how to move yourself well, and then describe what the heck you're doing and then simplify. You know, in a sounds so cheesy, but like in an Ernest Hemingway way, like, say it in as few words as possible. So you have this extra space for awareness practice, and you have this moment, when you're not speaking. It doesn't feel like dead space, it feels like you're holding the room with your breath and with your attention, and then you have more time to just look around the room and see how you can be useful instead of just saying words for no reason like I am right now.

Todd McLaughlin:

No, that's a great answer. I think that's really amazing advice to just focus on step by step procedure and what the movement is versus like what you're saying and talking about how you should feel how you should think I agree with that. 100%. That's really cool. I'm, what how was your experience going through COVID? I'm guessing you guys already had an online presence. So maybe it could have been an amazing experience, because you already had platforms in place to, to work with people online and at home? How did you do? First of all, do you feel like it's over? Like, do you feel like we've turned that that full corner? Are you still feeling like we're navigating the After Effects? Or the current effects? Where How are you thinking and feeling about all that these days?

Unknown:

Oh, my gosh, it's so nice. I mean, it was horrible for us, honestly, we missed everybody. And we had, we were doing so much in person that that all just, it wasn't that and everybody has the same experience. It wasn't that it all just went away overnight, it was that we were all kind of tugged around and postponed and you know, then cancel, then move it, move it again, and all of these things. And so it was it was no fun to kind of navigate that. And, of course, everybody understood and nobody was, you know, upset at us for canceling. So there was those feelings weren't there. But it was just sad not to be able to get together and things like that. And yeah, we had all of our online things happening. We started our app then. So we hadn't done that. We had videos online kind of one at a time and trainings and workshops, you could download or just view, you know, on demand, but we switched to an app platform, which was good, it gave us kind of something to do. And then you know, magically, it seems like I don't know, if you had the same experience. But the live technology just happened to be there right away. So we did live classes every day, just because, you know, most of the people that we practice with, were available to do that. And it just felt like that kind of sense of connection. Yeah, so we did a lot of that. And we did, you know, like basically everything that we could to just hang out with people online that wanted to be there. And, and also, we just spend a lot of time together as a family to do stuff. So that was a nice reflection moment for us to simplify in a way. And we got this house here in Illinois. So we'd wanted to move out of New York City for a while, but we hadn't kind of figured out a destination. So it was one of these moments where I never would have thought of oh, let's go hang out with family. But then I thought I want to hang out with family. Let's let's do that. And that's been really, really nice. So it kind of these obvious things bubbled up to the surface, because I wasn't busying myself kind of in balling around the world to Yeah, in certain ways. So

Todd McLaughlin:

good point, do you currently keep a pretty solid travel schedule? Are you if you had to make a basic assumption on the percentage of time that you're able to hang out in Illinois and joy, the country versus time that you're on the road? Is it half half? Is it like 30%? Travel? And how busy are you keeping yourself these days?

Unknown:

Gosh, well, now everything, at least for me, I'm getting invited to things again, which is exciting. And I also get to do a lot of things that aren't really yoga related going to business conferences and Fortune Magazine and things like that. And I'll be the one that comes in and does like the 10 Minute chill out session on stage. So I really love that because I get to talk to that's cool, other kinds of people. And that's really fun for me too. If I can help somebody who's really stressed out who's in HR, if I can help them chill out a little bit, then everybody that they support will chill out a little bit. So I'm getting invited to those things and book events. I'm leading some yoga in New York and March and April and Charleston and some book events and things like that. So I'm happy to be doing unique kind of things again and then yeah, these conferences and things are inviting me and then with Strala we've been really careful not to overpack is scheduled to so we're only doing one 200 hour training a year now which is was a huge change for us. We were doing like, I don't know, lots and lots of trainings and workshops and intensives. And we have this one in Miami coming up in May, and then Berlin in September, and the next fall in Berlin for 200 hour. So we're kind of keeping that super simple and easy. Also, a lot of our instructors are leading their own Strahler trainings now. So we're trying to create space for them to have success and communities. So that's been really exciting. But then I thought, Oh, I'm just going to be at home, what else am I going to do? But then of course, I'm invited to all of these other Don Strahler related things, which have been exciting, but I do have to watch out for, you know, overpacking my life. Because that happens to me sometimes.

Todd McLaughlin:

That's amazing. Tara, I bet can in relation to you coming to Miami, I was really excited when I went on your website to reach out to you to do this conversation. And I saw that you guys were going to be in Miami. So I thought well, that's that's good serendipity. And I'm curious if if I wanted if I could or can come down and meet you guys in person. Can I come for a day? Because my schedule? Is that possible?

Unknown:

Yeah, that'd be awesome. Hotel, to be been living there for about 10 years just doing first we used to just bring down people from New York for a weekend retreat, like a yoga class and go in the pool. Again, kind of a big Yeah. And we're doing a training there. But yeah, come on down for the day or whatever, whatever you feel like, that'd be nice.

Todd McLaughlin:

That would be cool. I would love that. In relation to you mentioned that you utilize hatha yoga or teaching posture and movement practice and, and then we have these different branches like bhakti yoga and karma yoga, Raja Yoga, are there other branches or avenues that you really connect with or that you utilize on in your daily life?

Unknown:

Oh, gosh, I think what's been most appealing to me, at least in the last 510 years has been the tai chi and the shiatsu and really seeing that if I focus on moving better, and connecting my breath and body together, my yoga gets better. I mean, I'm actually stronger. When I do yoga, I get less tired when I'm doing it. And I can actually it kind of is the foundation for anything else I want to practice in a way I can meditate. And it feels easier to sit there. And I'm not trying to just you know, sit and meditate. But if I'm doing this breath body connection when I'm crawling out of bed and standing up and you know few moments of these little practices here and there, those practices just helped me with with the yoga, which is my most fun thing, I think, because with yoga, you can, you know, you can move your body in all these different directions, which feels really good and helpful and all the different areas. And I think that's one lakh about tai chi, it's a great practice for your life. But it's mainly the practice of it is mainly standing, but the philosophy of it connecting your breath and body together, shifting your weight before you move, you know this back to go forward down to go up all of these kind of, you know, skills of it can can help with everything. So I like to practice a little bit of Tai Chi just to figure that out again everyday in my body. And she also was just leaning on myself in different ways. And then I feel like I'm good to go with the yoga and with the just regular movements of life and things like that.

Todd McLaughlin:

That's cool. Can you explain a little bit more like when you say, leaning on myself in different ways in relation to shiatsu, I've always envisioned shiatsu as a form of therapy where there's someone receiving shiatsu from the giver or the practitioner. But the way you said that it made me think that you lean your body maybe against the edge of the door jamb or you lean your body on like a foam roller or like figure out ways to do self shiatsu. That is That was my visualization. Is that correct? Or yeah,

Unknown:

that's, that's all totally right on. I mean, I like to call it just for myself DIY. You know, you don't have anybody handy to deal with. But you know what I learned from our teacher, Sam Berlin, he's, you know, a great shiatsu practitioner and teach her to is any kind of more pointy place on your body, like your elbow, your thumb to any soft place and there's meridians everywhere. So you can't really do it wrong. And it's easy to kind of do this in your yoga practice, too. I mean, if you're just sitting cross legged and you lean your forearm on your thigh, it's going to feel useful or nice in some way. And then there's really easy places. I mean, the feet are really easy, like the center of your foot below the ball of your foot, that kidney meridian you can kind of just sneaky lean in with your thumb. When you're just sitting down or doing pigeon or whatever, and then oh my gosh, I feel more energized, what's going on and kind of just doing these things here and there, I mean, movement also just activates your meridians. So that's useful. But any of these, you know, you can lean on an object like a couch or a foam roller shore, but even just with your own body, like elbows or thumbs, or you know, kind of sides of your forearms onto your body somewhere, just you know, any, any way where it kind of feels intuitive and nice is usually useful. And then I think it's kind of cool. If you experiment, play around and say what's going on, on that part of my leg or that part of my back, then you open up one of those acute acupuncture charts, you're like, oh, that's going, that's interesting. And yeah, maybe it relates, maybe it doesn't. But, you know, you can't really do it wrong, unless you're really aggressively, you know, pushing yourself or, you know, being being mean to yourself in some way. But these gentle liens are just really nice. And I think it's just such a good metaphor to to, to lean on yourself and lean on the floor. And, you know, even back to back leaning on a partner, you know, noticing that you don't have to hold yourself up with your, your will and your ego and without your breath biting connections. It's such a relief in a way, you know, just leaning on myself, I feel less alone than if I'm just, you know, doing yoga, trying to kind of balance myself without help, you know, you get more help, if you believe

Todd McLaughlin:

that's such a nice way to think of that. Like, if I'm stressing out, I feel like I'm alone. Just lean on myself a little bit. I mean, it's, there's a song about that, right? Lean on me. But it's so true. I mean, awesome. Yeah,

Unknown:

I learned. I mean, I think I, you know, I take all the shiatsu trainings with Sam, and then I come up with these weird ideas. And I asked him, like, does leaning on yourself make you feel less alone? And he's like, doTERRA? Like, are there meridians everywhere in your body? Yes, Tara. You just do it a little bit. And then we all kind of figure out these things, which is cool. Or you figure out new things that you haven't thought of yet, or, you know, just it's all meant to help you and your life. So I think that's why it's super cool.

Todd McLaughlin:

That's awesome. I'm reading a book right now. About chakras, the chakra system by Otto Dania. And I have to put her name in the show notes I'm sorry, on a debt, her last name. Have you studied? And or are you like the chakras are everything when you come across that sort of information? Does it intrigue you? Or what? What are your thoughts about that whole part of yoga? Yeah, I mean, I

Unknown:

think it's obviously real. I believe in it, for sure. I think it's a real thing. I like relating to it through things that are also real. So like, you know, shiatsu, I think is a great way for me to relate through the chakra is in Tai Chi practice and yoga practice and things like that. So I've I've kind of just naturally steered away from more workshops that are not that they're not based in reality, but kind of go off on different philosophies or new ideas and things like that. Not that they're not real, either. But I just like to base it into something that I can touch and feel and experience and, and have a real idea about it. Because it's, you know, it is a really interesting understanding of of your body and how things work. And we've all had that experience when we you know, you're lined up in, you know, whether you're standing somewhere and having a feel good moment, or you're doing yoga, and you're like, oh my gosh, something just happened, I'm all lined up. And I feel like I'm in a channel of something. So I think it's really cool, especially when you find a good book, or a good teacher that understands these things and isn't kind of messing around. really abstract can be a very abstract concept. And we know there's lots of, you know, people that are predatory out there and in our in our kind of fields, but you know, there are a lot of really good teachers, you know, famous and not famous as well, that can really help help us understand all of these things a little bit easier.

Todd McLaughlin:

That's where I was kind of wondering where you see the connection and similarity to Meridian therapy. And in terms of points along the line all either, like connecting the dots in some special way in real and also, I guess, with the chakra system, there's like one central line. And obviously we have noddy's and we could probably say that the whole Nadi system and the meridian system is the same thing. So I definitely see the connection there. I was just curious what you've learned over the years in relation to the shiatsu Meridian therapy and into like understanding those sorts of lines and how you translate that and When say you are teaching a class and you are going to use hands on touch? Do you like Intuit some sort of like line connection? Or are you working off the line say like, if I look at a book and I look at the line, and I can kind of see that there's a line that goes like up the back of the leg, and it connects around the hip and goes across the, this channel along the front of the body in some way. And, and but then when I actually go to palpate it or try to find that on someone, I find that I have to try to what am I feeling? Like? I think I'll ask myself, like, do I feel something it you know, or is it my imagination? And what what has been your discovery? And I know, it's probably a daily thing, but I'm curious, what what, what do you lean on? When trying to figure all that? Yeah, well,

Unknown:

what I've learned is, it's, you don't learn anything, just doing something once I mean, having somebody around to just practice on I'm so happy to have Mike because I've taken you know, Sam's workshop, like hundreds of times, but every single time, I'm not great at it, you know, I like learning about it. So I get better. And the fact that I get better, I think that that's really cool. And again, having somebody to practice on. Because the interesting thing about connection is it's not, I'm not doing something to the other person. And if I think that I am, it's just manipulation, it's not going to work and maybe a mechanical thing, but it's not going to be a useful thing for either of us. And that's how, you know yoga teachers and body workers burnout, like, we think I'm going to go and help this person over here, get into the right position. But if you can kind of lean next to somebody and lean on them, and then you make a connection with yourself, make sure you're kind of cozy and Okay. And then you kind of just put your attention on the other person, has their breathing changed. Have they adjusted themselves is something happening? And if they are, you know, showing signs of being more relaxed, and something has changed, it doesn't need to be the something has changed, but just are they? Is their breathing deepen, are they moving around a little bit in a comfortable way, then then something's happening. And for me, it's, you know, I feel like I have a little bag of tricks with shiatsu, especially in final relaxation, if somebody's told me before class, they're really anxious, you know, there's this place on the underside of your of your foot where you can kind of I can lean away from somebody, and it helps to kind of tune off that busy part of their mind. And I know, okay, if their breathing has changed, and they're moving around a little bit, usually after class or kind of Liga, those little girls are they come up and they say, I've never switched off before, or maybe they don't say anything, and that's fine, too. Or, you know, just just knowing little tricks like that, again, if somebody's kind of depleted on the energy, like knowing where that kidney meridian is, and just leaning into it, sometimes you can see a big reaction, sometimes not a big reaction. I mean, the worst that can happen is somebody's like, Oh, what are you doing? Like, why are you leaning on me? And then I know that I've like, my approach was wrong, or I just miss judge the fact that they wanted to be connected with in that way. So, you know, it's a forever practice, for sure. I mean, even in Singapore, I was talking with a girl before and she was telling me how stressed out she was, and is definitely my mistake, because I was thinking, Oh, I'm going to come to her at the end and do like the foot thing. And I came to her at the end and did the foot thing. And she like, jumped a mile and she said, Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm like, No, it's my fault. It's like, you have to be sorry, it's my fault. Because I was too excited to go and help her you know, so it always works when you're, you know, it's a it's not a hard thing, but it's something to get excited about. I think just practicing making good connections and like the where you touch people, I mean, it's, it's obvious, it should be obvious, you know, I'm not going to come and touch somebody's belly or I'm not going to touch somebody's probably not going to touch somebody's front of their body so much but the back of the bodies a lot easier place or you know, their pack or you know, their hips or something like that. So, you know, if you can kind of start to practice in these easier places in the yoga context, then when you have somebody that you're more comfortable with at home, just playing around and maybe you can connect with their belly and their heart in the middle and do a more kind of curious, you know, more shiatsu kind of practice, but I think it's, you know, even just in a casual setting, putting yourself next to somebody, you know, we've all like put our hand on somebody's back and figuring out Okay, is it appropriate to put my hand on somebody's back? Am I pushing them down? Or am I comforting that? What am I we've all had good touch and bad touch like that. So you know, we can practice it off the mat. We have a better chance of doing it right on the mat with more of the time. Thank

Todd McLaughlin:

Great point. All good points. That was That was excellent. Good answers. Good answer. Thanks. Thanks. Thanks. I had someone this is a big question. I am a licensed massage therapist. Well, I had someone in a yoga training situation, say, but Todd, you're licensed massage therapist. So you're allowed to go up and touch people in a yoga class. But is it? Is it legal for me to touch someone in a yoga class and the way that I? I don't. So I apologize to you and the listeners, I don't know the exact black and white rule, at least in my state like, but what I do understand or what I get a sense of is that if it's if I asked for permission, and there's consent, and you make eye contact, and you say, Yes, I'm okay with you, you know, either putting a hand on me or helping me in this pose, that at that point, I kind of lean I lean on that, that that's where I say it is okay, or isn't okay. Like, if you've received consent, have you? Have you come across this in your trainings and or in discussions in the yoga world? What are your thoughts on this?

Unknown:

Oh, yeah, well, I think especially since, and thankfully, there's been more conversation about this in the last, you know, 10 years or so even five years or so. In Europe, I remember in a training a few years ago, the studio that we rented out, had these new paddles, and it was like green red. Yeah, saying yeah,

Todd McLaughlin:

like ping pong paddle.

Unknown:

So, and they're, you know, they're kind of comical in a way and can be really useful in a way as well. But I think a bigger conversation is well, how are you going to touch me? It's not just where and when, but is it? If it's going to be good? Yes. I would like you to touch me if it's not going to be good.

Todd McLaughlin:

Yeah, good point.

Unknown:

You know, I think that comes with, you know, if you're talking to students, it's, well, where are you teaching? Is it somebody else's space, and absolutely, you're not in charge there, you need to, you need to play by the rules of whatever's going on. And if you're not allowed to touch people, but you want to, you know, there's so much you can do with creating a good environment with how you stand next to somebody. So forget about this desire to go and touch somebody, but create a good relationship with everything that you do. And then touch is just one thing kind of on the continuum of that. So I think that's always been my approach with touch. It's not, you don't, you shouldn't need consent for something that you're doing that's useful. But if you're doing something that is questionable, if it's useful or not, then I understand a world where you would want consent, if somebody's going to come behind me and like, you know, pull my hips into their body. I don't want that. I don't think very many people want that. But that was a very normal kind of yoga adjustment up until I don't know, maybe it's still happening. So it's sort of like, well, well, what's going to happen? And how are you going to connect with me in this way, and I definitely, especially with a newer group, I'll err on the side of not touching as much. And if I'm with a group for a couple of weeks in a row, then that'll get more and more just depending on what's happening. But also, I'll notice that people are touching each other more, they're just sitting closer to each other, they're kind of leaning on each other's backs a little bit or hugging a bit more. And if that's happening, then I'll see that as a sign where I can go in and connect to somebody's ankles or, you know, lower back or something like that. But I think there's, there's this whole thing that goes into what what are you doing in the first place? And how are you doing it? That's much more interesting, then, can I or can't I touch somebody?

Todd McLaughlin:

Yeah. Good point. Good point. And, Tara, I'm just extremely thankful for you to take time, I want to make sure I respect your time, and we netstat an hour to talk together. And it's getting close to that point. And I'm just curious, if you have a vision for the future, what what would you like to see if you could like if you could just totally be a dreamer. And we don't have to worry about like, if we're being too dreamy. I'm curious, what would you dream?

Unknown:

Well, I think it's interesting. I mean, not that I'm, you know, been doing this for forever. But even in the last 20 years, I've seen so much change for the positive. And young people have now come into this practice for the most part, and they say, I want to feel good, I want to feel better. And I'm here for my mental health, my physical health, I'm here, let's do this. And that wasn't always the case. 20 years ago, it felt like if you were doing these practices, it was very serious. And it was very much in order to be good at these practices was sort of like I'm doing yoga in order to be good at yoga or to show my teacher that I'm a good students and things like that. And I really think there's so much progress and why people are coming to these practices. They're coming for themselves and to live a good life and to be in their bodies fully and then put way to practice and say, Okay, how can I be in the world and use my gifts for good? And what am I doing with myself? And how can I just make that part of my life and it's normal, and it's not this separate part of my yoga life, I don't have yoga friends, and then other friends, I'm sort of becoming a more connected me the whole time. And I just believe that that's already happening. And, and so many of us are excited and trying to guide that change and happening as well. And it's definitely a group effort. And it takes all of us in order to do that, and all these different ways and all these different people. And I think, in 20 more years that all of these practices will be so normal and easy and just be practiced in homes and with each other and more guides and more teachers. And that can just be such a simple part of life, like drink water, do your practice, you know that some night, that's my hope and dream for sure.

Todd McLaughlin:

That is great. I liked the way you put that out, because it seems like we're we've already we've achieved it already. And it's only gonna get better. Like we're we've achieved, we've achieved it. were achieving it. It's still happening.

Unknown:

Yeah, you yoga teachers are nice. Now. 20 years ago, I was scared to death. Most yoga teachers, they wouldn't talk to me. And they just you didn't do yoga teachers and students didn't have conversations, it just wasn't like, you go over there. And I'm going over here, you know. And now everybody's nice, and everybody wants to help each other. And we're just going to keep that going. I think that's awesome.

Todd McLaughlin:

That is a beautiful message. I really appreciate you sharing. Thank you so much for taking time out of your schedule away from your family and to do this, and I can't wait to release it. And I just really appreciate it. Tara, i You were so kind and so sweet. And your reply just it means a lot. I think you're giving the example of what it is that your dream is. So I think it's um, it's really, I appreciate it. Thank you.

Unknown:

Oh, you're so nice. You too. I was really excited to chat with you. And I'm glad we have a lot in common.

Todd McLaughlin:

Yes, you Lottie is amazing. Well, I hope that myself and anyone listening that wants to join you in Miami that perhaps will have a in person reunion or chance to actually meet in person, which I really want to try to come down. So I will make that happen. And thank you, Tara and I look forward to meeting you in person and your husband and I'm excited to see you. We'll have fun. Cool. Thank you. Thank you so much. Native yoga taught cast is produced by myself. The theme music is dreamed up by Bryce Allen. If you liked this show, let me know if there's room for improvement. I want to hear that too. We are curious to know what you think and what you want more of what I can improve. And if you have ideas for future guests or topics, please send us your thoughts to info at Native yoga center. You can find us at Native yoga center.com. And hey, if you did like this episode, share it with your friends, rate it and review and join us next time