Melissa Friedman - Natural Connection Through Yoga and Art

Episode 102 with Melissa Friedman - Natural Connection Through Yoga and Art

We hope you enjoy this conversation about all things yoga and bodywork with Melissa Friedman.

Follow Melissa on IG @themedicinebeads and @nectarofthebee

About Melissa
Influenced in my early yoga days by concepts of Iyengar and Ashtanga lineages, Vipassana meditation, and the study of structural bodywork, my yoga practice was cemented through a dedication to the Ashtanga system which since 2003, has taken me on journeys around the world to study with senior teachers.  I am forever grateful to my teachers Victoria Laws, Annie Pace, R. Sharath Jois, Ruth Harting, Lee Joseph, Christopher Beaver, Dawn Eagle Woman, and the teachings of S.N. Goenka among others for some of most my profound learning journeys. I consider my path as a mother to my daughter and puppy dog to be my greatest teacher, and greatest gift, yet. I aspire to meet my students where they are in the support of healing and growth. I am in the process of obtaining my E-500 RYT status to reflect my years of study and teaching since my initial certification with Yoga Alliance in 2011.  I look forward to seeing you on the mat!

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Transcript

Todd McLaughlin: 0:33

Welcome to Native yoga Toddcast. So happy you are here. My goal with this channel is to bring inspirational speakers to the mic in the field of yoga, massage bodywork and beyond. Follow us @nativeyoga, and check us out at nativeyogacenter.com. All right, let's begin Welcome to Native Yoga Toddcast. I'm really pleased to bring to the channel today, Melissa Friedman. Melissa is a mom. She is an Ashtanga yoga teacher. She also teaches yoga therapeutics. She is an artist, and she is a naturalist. And you can find her on Instagram @nectarofthebee. Which she also has another Instagram handle called@themedicinebeads, where she showcases her artwork, which can also be found on Etsy. If you have any questions reach out to her. And so I'm so happy that you are here. Thank you so much for your support. Your feedback is so motivational to me, I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. So, on that note, let's just go ahead and get started here. I'm so excited to have Melissa Friedman here today. And Melissa, you're joining us from Telluride Telluride, Colorado. Is that correct?

Melissa Friedman: 2:12

Yes.

Todd McLaughlin: 2:14

Well, thank you so much for joining me. I have been watching you post about teaching primary series in Colorado. And so I'm really excited to ask you questions about yoga and all of those great things. I also just want to make mention that people can find we can find you on Instagram, and you have a handle called at @nectarofthebee and also at @themedicinebeads. And so I'm curious if you can first explain what the @nectarofthebee site is?

Melissa Friedman: 2:52

So that's my paintings. I'm a painter. And yeah, it's so I had a little yoga studio a few years ago that I actually turned into a little art gallery at one point. And the art gallery was called nectar arts. So my name Melissa means honeybee and I've always had an affinity to honeybees. So a lot of like the names of my things have centered around bees and nectar and so nectar of the bees just it's my Instagram for my for my paintings for my artwork.

Todd McLaughlin: 3:46

Cool. Did you was a yoga studio in Telluride.

Melissa Friedman: 3:52

Yep, it was just a tiny little space. And I originally had opened it to do yoga therapy and just one on one work with people. And then I had other teachers using it purchase really small classes for a while.

Todd McLaughlin: 4:06

What time frame was that during?

Melissa Friedman: 4:10

Um, gosh, that's a good question.

Todd McLaughlin: 4:15

It's it's 2023 right now. I'm kidding.

Melissa Friedman: 4:19

I'm trying to think so it was a space I had I had a studio for I'm a body worker. I was a body worker for a long time I had a studio and this little space opened up right next to it in the same building. And I just kind of jumped on it and because I needed a place to do my yoga therapy and I had a space for it, but it wasn't quite big enough. So I want to say it's 2000 I don't know 12 Yeah, something that too until I went on maternity leave in 2019 In so

Todd McLaughlin: 5:01

nice yeah. And so I'm curious what came first bodywork or yoga practice?

Melissa Friedman: 5:09

Um. bodywork came first. I mean I had started I had started exploring yoga before that for sure. I probably got into meditation first when I was just like 14 years old or something like that. And so I started exploring Yoga I would say in college for a little bit. And then I think I the bodywork, my interest in bodywork kind of led me into a deeper interest in yoga and just the body in general. So, yeah, I became a body worker before a yoga teacher before I was like crazy passionate about yoga.

Todd McLaughlin: 5:49

Yeah. Where did you move back? Let me back up a little bit. Where did you grow up?

Melissa Friedman: 5:55

I grew up outside of Boston. When she said,

Todd McLaughlin: 5:58

How did you find yourself landing in Telluride?

Melissa Friedman: 6:03

Um, my sister, two older sisters, and one of my sisters moved here first. And I came to visit her and just fell in love with this area. So that's cool.

Todd McLaughlin: 6:14

Where did you go to bodywork school.

Melissa Friedman: 6:18

I went to a school called Pacific College of bodywork and awareness. It was in kawaii nice.

Todd McLaughlin: 6:26

Have heard of that, huh? Yeah.

Melissa Friedman: 6:30

The founder, Lee Joseph. He passed away a couple of years ago, a few years ago now. But he was just an amazing human being. And that was kind of where my journey started with it. And it just, you know, evolved from there

Todd McLaughlin: 6:47

was that in Hanalei, in kawaii or

Melissa Friedman: 6:53

his school at the time? I'm not sure if it stayed there after years after I left. was in. It was, have you been to Hawaii,

Todd McLaughlin: 7:08

I have not been to some of the Hawaiian Islands. But I've always wanted to go to holiday because it's a pretty epic surf destination or Hawaii, but

Melissa Friedman: 7:18

it wasn't an wasn't in Honolulu. It was kind of in between towns. So I don't know technically where it was. It was like in between Kappa and. And it's the other town. I can't think of what it's called right now. But it was just like it was dumped down a long winding road. And he had this beautiful property. And so the school was a separate building on his property. Yeah,

Todd McLaughlin: 7:43

nice. Had you known that you wanted to get licensed as a massage therapist or certified and then consciously went to kawaii to study there or were you just hanging out on kawaii and realize this is what I want to do and and met them and went there.

Melissa Friedman: 8:01

Actually, I was living here and started looking into massage schools and I had heard about kawaii and that I had to go there all that it was just kind of Kismat I, you know, asked around and another therapist here said oh my goodness, you've got to check out my teacher that I studied with and I looked at several schools and the second I had a phone conversation with Lee Joseph I just knew that he was my teacher and yeah, that's how I

Todd McLaughlin: 8:37

were the fundamentals and Swedish massage or was Was he trained in everything and blended everything into the training?

Melissa Friedman: 8:47

I would say that the fundamentals were more Rolfing based structural bodywork and he also part of the program was hypnotherapy. So a lot of what we did was very psychosomatic centered. You know, getting into the body and finding what was stored there emotionally and really getting to the root of why we get stuck.

Todd McLaughlin: 9:13

Nice. Did you come across Lomi Lomi as well when you were there.

Melissa Friedman: 9:18

Um, I never experienced Lomi Lomi and I never you know took a training in it or anything but it definitely fascinates me. Nice. I haven't crossed paths with it yet. So

Todd McLaughlin: 9:31

that's cool. I had an opportunity to take let me let me course on the Big Island of Hawaii with a man named Dr. Dang que Alana Silva. And it was really a great experience and I love Hawaii and I can't think of a better place to go to massage school. So that's amazing that you went too quiet. That's cool. Do you Do you still practice bodywork or are you retired from massage if you're an artist any yoga teacher and making jewelry? There's only so much time in the day and your mom, how, what are you focusing these days on? What is your current? What? How are you interacting with the public in terms of your work in your career?

Melissa Friedman: 10:17

Yeah, so, um, so right around when I went on maternity leave in 2018, to have my daughter, the building I'd had my studios in for 18 years, was going under reconstruction. So it was just kind of perfect timing. I don't know if I ever would have left that building. But um, I had to move out of my offices and was also getting ready to have a baby. I was eight months pregnant and still doing a little bit of body work. And so I had my baby, and then Coronavirus hips, like when she was three or four months old. So I think maybe intuitively, I already knew that, that having a young child and getting back into bodywork was wasn't going to mix so much for me. So So I haven't, I haven't been doing bodywork. But I did go back to teaching yoga. And so I've been teaching classes and trying to get sort of my private yoga practice back up and running. I had been doing yoga therapy with people for many years, along with my bodywork practice. So I tried to incorporate that a little bit in my classes, but you know, just depends on what I'm teaching. If I'm teaching more a stronger base classes, it's not. It doesn't flow as much to do that. But um, and it's more individual. So. So that's where I'm at. Yeah, being a mom and doing investing myself in the yoga and yeah, trying to find time for art.

Todd McLaughlin: 12:10

I hear you being a parent. We have like maybe an hour in the evening after they've gone to bed to where, you know, we can do something like art. And then you're so tired that it's like do I have the energy? Where are if you create a piece of work in terms of painting and or you also make jewelry? That's great. When When do you fit that in? Usually do you try to get up before your little one wakes up? Do you try to squeeze it in during the day? How are you structuring your creative creative time?

Melissa Friedman: 12:44

Yeah, um, but I do I do a lot of creative projects with her. She just started preschool a few weeks ago so so she's she's in school now three days a week. Um, yeah, I try to just kind of fit it in where I can. I haven't been painting since I had her other than all the painting we do together. I I did a show while I was pregnant and then since then I haven't really been going at it for myself. So that's something I'm hoping to revive. In the next little while. The jewelry. I've always kind of made jewelry but while Coronavirus was like while we were all shut down I taught myself a new technique that I really got into and created the medicine beads and a lot of what I've been doing has been like really personalized special orders and so I can do some of that with her. And part of the reason I wanted to get into doing jewelry was because I felt like this is something I can kind of do with her here and she can get into it too. A little bit. So yeah, I just find time where I can recently lately. I put her to bed and I go to bed to just kind of go through those cycles of like, staying up after she's in bed and then also just wanting to snuggling with her where I can

Todd McLaughlin: 14:21

but yeah, that's cool. Can you explain a little bit what the medicine beads represent and or what the technique is for working with them.

Melissa Friedman: 14:31

Um, I started so they become very popular those like beaded earrings. They're you know, kind of like the technique is called brick stitch they're they're like these beaded earrings with friends and you know I just started like, I love. I love all the colors you can use I love you know, the design, the you can do any design, you know that you can draw, you can create it And for me, it's become like a way of creating a painting. That's not a painting. It's like a beaded painting almost like so many of the images that I create just I feel like I'm painting but with beads, if that makes sense. It's like I'm weaving these images together. And they're all every pair of earrings I make has some sort of symbology to it, like a lot of my special orders are like, can you make me something that incorporates this energy and this energy and and then I started using some semi precious stones in with in with the jewelry as well that represent different things. But the seed beads I use, they're they're like glass, Japanese seed beads. So

Todd McLaughlin: 15:52

yeah, nice. Yeah. Yeah. Can you give me a history of how you if you're practicing and teaching Ashtanga now? Was that your first method of yoga that you started to practice? Or what different styles have you come across in your yoga history?

Melissa Friedman: 16:11

Yeah. Um, so I would say, when I first really started practicing regularly, I was taking probably vinyasa classes and also really appreciate ion gar yoga and was taking a lot of, you know, I younger workshops and things like that as well. And then I started practicing Ashtanga probably a few years into my yoga practice, and it just nailed it. For me. It was like, it kind of just upped the ante on my commitments and felt like home to me as far as a lineage went and so. So I started practicing with a teacher that I ended up apprenticing with years later. Yeah, I just got hooked, and eventually, you know, traveled to India and never really thought about becoming a teacher. It wasn't on my radar. I just really loved the practice and loved. It just became such a huge part of my life. And I think it was shortly after I returned from India. The teacher that I had, that ran the Ashtanga program for many years here, she just kind of approached me and said, hey, you know, do you want to apprentice with me? Would you like to be a teacher? And you know, of course, I was honored. And so I did, I would say like, a two year apprenticeship with her where we really got down to business and I, you know, assisted her classes and yeah, so that was kind of where the, the like teacher training aspect began, and she got certified as a school so that she could certify me. And so that was where the yoga teaching started. And I ended up loving being a teacher. So nice. Really nice. Surprise. Really?

Todd McLaughlin: 18:19

That's cool. Is there a strong ashtanga yoga community in Telluride?

Melissa Friedman: 18:26

Um, when she was teaching there, there definitely was a really strong community. She left and I continued teaching the program for a while I don't remember the timeline Exactly. But I eventually I got sick and injured and had to give up teaching or I chose to give up teaching for a while. It was just too much with my bodywork practice and and then a friend who I adore she's she started up a program again. I don't know a few years ago, maybe somewhere in me ending and and her beginning. So yes, so there is an Ashtanga community. It's small. But we're slowly trying trying to rebuild the community. She's teaching regularly is covering for her and assisting her with some big classes over the last couple of years and then realize like, Okay, I'm This feels good. I like to be teaching again and so started. So yeah, it's small, but it's it's there. It's mighty, but small.

Todd McLaughlin: 19:49

I hear Yeah. That's cool. Is Telluride. More transient? Or like are the people that are coming to classes? Are they like locals that live year round? Or do you have have like a huge influx during the snow season. And then like a huge influx during the summer season, maybe in relation to like the natural beauty for people that want to come to us to do hiking. And I'm sure there's every sort of like mountain biking and rock climbing and fun Colorado type experience available. So do you find that there's a lot of people that are traveling always traveling in? Or is it more like a tight knit local group that are there year round?

Melissa Friedman: 20:27

See a little bit of both, I think, within the community that this, like the strong community that we had going years ago, when I started teaching, we would definitely have you know, the Ashtanga community is kind of global. And you you find it where you are, and we definitely had some travelers, you know, finding us and coming to class, because it was their lineage of choice. And now, I don't know if I can really speak to it, I would say it's mostly local crew fall. But, you know, in the classes that I've been teaching, just vinyasa classes are stronger base classes. It's a mixture, but I would say the majority are people that are here, year round are part of the year.

Todd McLaughlin: 21:21

That's cool. What is the name of the yoga studio that you teach at?

Melissa Friedman: 21:27

So I am, I am teaching I'm back teaching at Telluride Yoga Center, which is where I taught years ago under different ownership. So I just recently returned to that studio was teaching for another lovely studio here called practice. Which is where my my friend who, who's running the Ashtanga program over there, she She's over there, so yeah, so it's covering for a little while as well.

Todd McLaughlin: 21:53

Nice. Is are you also teaching like yin and vinyasa flow? Are you focusing mostly on I noticed that you posted that you're teaching led primary series? Are you? Are you holding down my throat classes? Are you focusing mostly on like lead classes?

Melissa Friedman: 22:11

So the lead the lead classes, I was I was covering for my friend. It's really like the program she got started again. And there. So like, I don't know exactly, because because it's really been her thing. But there were some Mysore classes for a while. And I think she's trying to start that up again. And we've talked about trying to do a little Ashtanga program together. The problem is, is that we do live in a small town and setting up a super early practice and not knowing if people are going to come and it's hard to reestablish that. So I think we'd like to, and she'd like to, and I would be I would get the game as well. But yeah, I mean, right now, I'm just teaching one regular class a week. And I'm trying to add in privates as much as I can. And it's, it's, it's a Vinyasa style class. I wouldn't it's not pure Ashtanga. But it's definitely influenced by Ashtanga. And I tried to add some restorative towards the end. But I would like to, I'd like to get more pure Ashtanga on the schedule where I am now. So we'll see. I hear

Todd McLaughlin: 23:23

you. That is a big commitment. It is. Yeah, I hear ya. is So now that you've had the experience? It sounds like you had your own bodywork and or like small yoga studio for about 18 years you said not. And so after having your own space and now working in other people's spaces? Are you being that you've had the juxtaposition of both experiences? Can you shed a little bit of light on? Are you really happy to not have all the responsibility that comes with holding down your own space? Is it seemed like a little bit easier now? Or what? What are your thoughts regarding those two different ways of going about it? Yeah, I

Melissa Friedman: 24:05

mean, the maiasaura program that I practiced that community that I practice within and ended up taking over, after my teacher left, that was at the studio, where I'm teaching now. So it was under different ownership. But so we, you know, between the two of us had run that there for years and my little studio, I really sort of did that. For my just my personal clients, my one on one clients, because after years of doing bodywork and teaching, Ashtanga Yoga, I was really interested in going and studying yoga therapy and kind of incorporating more therapeutic. And not that Ashtanga is not therapeutic. Of course yoga. chikitsa is yoga therapy but wanting to just learn more, more oddly in a yoga therapy world, to incorporate into my body work practice. So opening up that little studio was was more about that in my one on one work and not so much about teaching my my class. I was still teaching at the other studio when I had that. But some of I had some friends who, who wanted to teach small classes or just practice in there. So there wasn't really any conflict. But now, not having a full time bodywork practice and yoga therapy practice. My life is completely different now. Just my priorities my daughter and going and teaching at a studio that I love is such a gift. Really? I mean, it's just it feels really light to me not running my own business.

Todd McLaughlin: 25:59

Yes, yeah. So yeah, sure, yeah. That's hardcore

Melissa Friedman: 26:03

to do for a long time.

Todd McLaughlin: 26:07

I know sometimes I fantasize about I enjoy having a yoga center and don't want to change paths right now. But but on some days, I think be so nice to dislike show up. And then yeah, not have that pressure. So I totally, that's why I wanted to ask you that. It makes perfect sense. Yeah, can you so it sounds like you actually went, you went ahead and got certified as a CI a y t, is that correct?

Melissa Friedman: 26:36

Um, so the school I went to wasn't like a Gary crafts hour, it was more. I didn't get certified as a therapist. So the way that the way that we kind of talked about our schooling was more of like, we're deepening in yoga therapies. So that is, like a whole other thing. So yeah, I mean, it was, I think the way that they that they described their program was that it was like a therapy intensive. Something I don't know. So a lot of it was, you know, learning, learning deeper, or you Vedic sciences. And a lot of it was like, based on the Bihar tradition, which is, you know, the medical yoga system. And so, it was a combination of all that and a lot of just self care practices and diets, and you know, the whole range of what you consider yoga therapies. So, I'm not a yoga therapist, as in a traditional hardcore sense.

Todd McLaughlin: 28:04

Yeah. Yeah, I hear you I know I remember I didn't know anything about any of that. And I remember with yoga Alliance, there was this thing was like, make sure you click this box and or sign that because of the ry T. I think what yoga yoga teachers were starting to say were registered yoga therapists. And then the yoga therapy crowd kind of said, whoa, whoa, whoa, no, you're not. If you want to be that you got to do this over here. And I was like, kind of unawares of all that unaware of all that, and then I started Oh, okay, now I get it.

Melissa Friedman: 28:39

Did you really an animal? Yeah, it is, isn't

Todd McLaughlin: 28:41

it? I have so I'm curious. Because you said you got a chance to go to Mysore. Did you practice in Go? Calum and or with SRA, and with patottie Joyce, what year did you

Melissa Friedman: 28:51

so I was there Punjabi choice was still alive. But not teaching anymore when I was there. So I did study with Schrott. Yeah, he is still I was there in 2008 2009. Yeah. Does that sound right?

Todd McLaughlin: 29:09

Does it does? I think you're right. Yeah. I think you're right.

Melissa Friedman: 29:14

Yeah. So we would just sitting on the porch or whatever, just kind of taking Yeah.

Todd McLaughlin: 29:24

So I'm gathering then in relation to Ashtanga you've relied more on your own personal practice versus relying on having like a authorized authorization level one level 2am I correct or did you go out of their

Melissa Friedman: 29:41

way? So most of my Ashtanga I mean, I did so I apprenticed with my teacher for for two years. And so she was her. Her school was was where I got my initial training from And then just a lot of I mean, practice, of course, you know, studying with senior teachers and yeah, so no, I'm not authorized.

Todd McLaughlin: 30:12

Can I have a lot of friends that are authorized and certified? So I have full respect for that path? Do you sometimes? I'm not authorized. I've taken teacher trainings, let me know. But with senior teachers, I'm curious, do you sometimes think that by just having a genuine love for practice and letting your teacher teaching come from having that love and not having the constraint of a sort of letter designation after you benefit you or suits you? Maybe like with your personality type? Have you found that that's like a just a more suitable way for you to go?

Melissa Friedman: 30:55

Yeah, I mean, I don't know that I ever felt like, I wanted to take my teaching that far of like, going to India every year and, and putting in the time that it takes to to be authorized, honestly. Living in I think, if I was maybe trying to run a studio in a city, I would feel like that was more important. I live in a tiny town. My friend that's running the program now actually did get authorized, I think her last trip to India, so So that's cool. But no, I mean, I think just committing myself to the knowledge and the practice and the study, and always trying to learn more, and also being a body worker, and having a pretty deep knowledge of the body and the different components of practice. And, you know, for me, that's felt like enough living where I live, it's just to be able to offer some wisdom where maybe there isn't a lot of it, in that in that department, this lineage. So, yeah, I mean, I have deep respect as well for that commitment. And it's not something I ever really felt like, was necessarily my path. I mean, maybe, yeah. Maybe if I wasn't a mom, or, you know,

Todd McLaughlin: 32:21

understood. That's cool. Melissa, well, I'm actually really happy to hear that because I'm on a similar trajectory. So it's nice to meet someone else who feels similar similar similarily do so personally, that's why I was excited to speak with you because you are a body worker, and a yoga teacher. And when COVID hit personally, because with bodywork obviously, were nowhere near the six feet apart realm were like, right, literally making physical contact, and then from the like doing a suicide, it really felt like the carpet just got pulled right out from underneath me in terms of everything. I've put my, you know, career and professional path, you know, in that in that direction. So I'm curious, what was your experience with all that? How did you process that whole experience of needing to pull back and

Melissa Friedman: 33:20

yeah, I mean, so I was on maternity leave during during that whole thing and sort of preparing myself to come out of it when COVID hit and so it was just kind of like,

Todd McLaughlin: 33:38

you're already there. Like you would already like stop doing a ton of massages every day and teaching

Melissa Friedman: 33:46

resolved. Yeah, to not go back into it right away. Yeah, I mean, having a four month old baby and not knowing what this whole thing was all about Coronavirus and not understanding the depth of it and that it would be this this two year plus, you know, yeah strophe basically so I you Yeah, I mean, I wasn't there I wasn't I wasn't on the precipice of starting up again. So it really Yeah. enhanced my resolve to to not not go there and it this is kind of big background information that I should say. But um, yeah, I I I had back surgery. Basically, after doing bodywork for how many years was I intuited that point 16 years or something and to that point of being a body worker and having a full time practice and having a full time yoga practice and being a teacher I I'm one day, basically bent down to pick up my dog's poop and couldn't get back up again. i Oh, so

Todd McLaughlin: 35:14

I appreciate being honest about that. That's, that's Can you tell me where it was in your back and what actually happened?

Melissa Friedman: 35:21

It was between L four and l five. I had such a badly herniated disk, that it was complete, there was no space between the desk and my sciatic nerve. And so I was in I mean, it was more painful, honestly, then. Then it was being in labor for 45 hours, in some ways. Just excruciating pain and unable to walk. I mean, I was I was laid up until steroids could take down the inflammation, and eventually had surgery. But

Todd McLaughlin: 35:58

was it a fusion?

Melissa Friedman: 36:01

No, fortunately, it wasn't, it was a just had to shave off what was what was there, so there's very little disk left in there. But, you know, it was a big wake up call for me. I had also been struggling with L and L illness. years prior to that. And probably, in part because of the illness. I just my I've got a hypermobility issue. And so my joints are really just hyper flexible. So probably wasn't getting the nutrients, my body wasn't absorbing the nutrients it needed. And so it just all kind of cascaded into this. Being flat on my back, basically. Yeah. So yeah. So it really put things into perspective and definitely deepened. My, you know, what I could offer as a yoga teacher and as a body worker, I did go back into body work after that, after several months of healing from surgery and getting feeling back in my leg. And

Todd McLaughlin: 37:13

so was that part of the impetus to go down the therapeutic side of yoga? The therapeutic

Melissa Friedman: 37:21

side? I'd gone down already that road. Yeah. Yeah. But I was always, since I can remember interested in healing and getting to the root of illness and, you know, so I think, you know, getting sick and having an injury, like that just deepened my, my knowledge and my love of being helpful to other people who are going through something similar. You know, I practiced for another couple of years, I guess, after, after the surgery. Another. See, that was 2017. And, yeah, so another couple of years after the surgery until I went on maternity leave. And, you know, it was a big wake up call to how I practiced and, you know, had to get the hydraulic table and all the things that you know, I should have done a long time ago, but it changed my yoga practice a lot. And I am so much more in love with my practice now than I ever happen after going through, you know, the things I went through with my health and my back and pregnancy and all of that. So,

Todd McLaughlin: 38:50

I'm so thankful to hear all that because I don't feel so alone. In relation to the challenges that come up with maintaining the physical rigor that's necessary for keeping up bodywork and, and teaching and practicing. Can you give me a little bit of insight into like, I've noticed some of the pictures that you posted recently. I saw you doing canopy dossena? You look pretty comfortable and canopy, dossena? Like real deep flexion with your knees by your ears. Is that a

Melissa Friedman: 39:23

picture? That was pretty that's surgery?

Todd McLaughlin: 39:25

That's pre surgery. Can you Yeah, can you give me a little insight into them post surgery, how you are navigating it and what movements have you needed to eliminate and or add to keep you feeling good?

Melissa Friedman: 39:42

Yeah, um, so really deep flexion for me, doesn't doesn't feel great. Got it. Like there's certain certain forward bends that You know, or like, do we practice your shots and things like that, that I don't even know if I would attempt at this point in my life?

Todd McLaughlin: 40:07

Just so the listeners know, do we put his your shots in a both legs behind the head at the same time? Yeah. Yeah, flexion is an issue that's like flexion on steroids. So, yeah, yes. That makes sense. That makes it What about pushing pushing button Asana flattening your body forward of your legs? Is there an issue like in terms of if your legs are together? Or if your legs are say, like in a beach to Konasana? Where your legs are separate? Does it change the sensation element in your back? Or is all flexion kind of something that you have to be just really cautious with?

Melissa Friedman: 40:46

Um, I would say, all flexion on some level, I just don't go as deep. And I don't. Currently I think, you know, part of part of my journey and and becoming wiser around around my practice has been like, you don't have to go as deep as you can, you know, especially when you're hyper mobile. It's like the, I remember a teacher saying to me once, like, strength is better than flexibility. And that that was early in my practice a long time ago. And that just that just stuck with me. Unfortunately, not enough. I definitely pushed myself too far. But um, yeah, I mean, it doesn't matter really, whether my legs are together separate, I tend to still practice them together for most things. And sometimes I separate them. Like, if I'm doing like Donnie, or Austin or something like that, sometimes I'll, you know, play around with how my legs are in that pose, you know, that? Back bending is so therapeutic for me. I love even though they're hard. And you know, some of them are really hard. For me. Back bending feels great. Like I love. Nice, what are my spine? So they like this intermediate series? A lot of those poses feel more therapeutic to me now than maybe they did already. But that would be like a whole primary series. What?

Todd McLaughlin: 42:20

Yeah, so fascinating. Interesting. I have the reverse, I have a I have no disk in between my L five and S one. And forward feels so good. But backward? Oh, my gosh, I have to be so careful now. So I, it's, it's great to hear how it can be one for the other like we have teacher trainers that will come in, I'll try to explain that the assessment process of if someone has some sort of herniation, bulging disc and or degenerative disc issues that one of the first things we can maybe ask people is like, are you more comfortable going forward? Or are you more comfortable going backward? Not everybody knows that right away. But people that do have back issues quite often have figured that out? What is your experience in terms of working with students and say, Now that you have this like really experience, you have a direct experience with back issues, and you get a chance to work with people that have the same thing, which I like that you mentioned earlier that like your ability to sympathize or empathize with students has improved because of your own personal growth that you've gone through with your yoga practice. Do you what have you noticed in relation to asking people going forward and backward is do you find it's predominantly Ford? I heard someone throw a statistic at me recently. That's like 74 70% of people feel better going forward? 30 going backward when it's disc related issues in the lumbar, but I don't know if that's true, or where they came up with that step. But what is what have you encountered?

Melissa Friedman: 43:59

I mean, it's, it's hard to say I think, for people who are traditional Ashtanga practitioners, I feel I mean, we learned the primary series first. And we do that for years, and you know, progress, but there's so much forward bending in primary. So I feel like there are a lot of with external practitioners who end up with lower back pain. I feel like those forward bends become become an issue after time. Yeah. And so in that world, like, that's in that's just what I've witnessed, which is not I don't know.

Todd McLaughlin: 44:50

I understand. So, we all have our small little group we're working with so we don't know if that's representative of the entire globe. But all right, that is it. Still a great observation. That's cool.

Melissa Friedman: 45:03

But I mean, it's, I guess it just really depends on the injury. And yeah, if I'm working with somebody, therapeutically, I mean, I like to really get to know intimately like, what all their injuries are even from childhood, like, just, you know, to get a get the big picture of, you know, because sometimes something doesn't feel as good, but it's actually what's therapeutic. And sometimes something feels easy, and it's not therapeutic. So it's, it's kind of a, you know, trying to figure out that dance of plan. That that thing that I say, as a yoga teacher, and a lot of yoga teachers say all the time, which is like, do what feels right for your body. And it's like, I believe that on some level, for sure, but also, are we doing things that are enhancing a problem, because that's what feels normal to us, even if it's not necessarily what's helping. You know, the outcome of, of your practice, be it because you have an injury or you're trying to get to a certain goal with your practice or whatever it is,

Todd McLaughlin: 46:18

to point has your Realization and work experience helped improve your meditation practice and or appreciation for like, like really simple, easy, happy yoga with no pressure on it type of practice.

Melissa Friedman: 46:41

Do you mean I think in general, since since I had surgery, and had, you know, a baby and like, rebuilding my practice, post that era, that alone, whether it's my meditation practice, or just my my yoga practice, in general, my approach is so different than it used to be. It's just an it's my approach is different, my appreciation is different. In some things, I feel stronger than I ever have. Maybe because I'm not doing body work full time, or I mean, I don't know, my awareness is just greater than it than it was. So I feel like you know, where it where meditation comes in, I need doing a practice to still the mind and get to that place of Asana for meditation. I don't need to practice for two and a half hours anymore to get there. You know, I can do a half hour practice and feel like I'm where I need to be that day. Or, you know, so. In that sense, it's changed.

Todd McLaughlin: 47:59

Good answer. I noticed on your Instagram profile, you had one a description. You call yourself a naturalist. And so that makes me think you love nature. Can you? Can you talk a little bit about how you are able to weave your love for nature into either your yoga or your jewelry making and or being a mom or how are you bringing your love of being an act? Or how are you bringing your natural aside into your other aspects?

Melissa Friedman: 48:38

Yeah, I mean, I think it's it's a thread for me that goes through everything in my life. I mean, I love I love you know, the proverbial great outdoors and, and animals and plants and all of it. I definitely consider myself an environmentalist since I was young. I think we started the first environmental club in my high school, you know, at the age of 13, or whatever. So that's always been a big part of my drive is is like being an advocate for mother nature and the environment. I thought I wanted to go to law school to be, you know, a lawyer for environmental causes and I, that's not where I ended up. But I mean, with my daughter, we spend I spend as much time outside with her as I can and definitely try to teach her about how closely connected we are with all living things and try to you know, she loves being outside she loves she's she's a little tree hugger at the age of three and then she she sees trees as beings just like I do. She really does and loves animals. We spend time farm sitting when we can for this family farm and yeah, I think part of part of where I bring the natural world and spiritually is studied shamanism for a long time. Which kind of takes some of the the energies from you know, nature in the natural world in general, just animals and plants and directions and all that into. Sometimes I use that as like when I teach yoga. And also our Aveda the elements and how they exist in the body. And so really, I mean, I incorporate it. It's not separate. For me, it's just kind of part of existence for me and how I try to teach my daughter teach others or, you know, teach others about healing and Yeah,

Todd McLaughlin: 51:03

very cool. Are you a fan of Neil Young by chance? Have you heard his newest album world record?

Melissa Friedman: 51:13

Um, and I don't know if I've listened to it, like, front to back. But maybe you've heard some of the songs not sure.

Todd McLaughlin: 51:21

I heard him recently, he was on Howard Stern. And so I was listening to that interview. And I love Neil Young. And I've been a big fan of him since I was back in high school days. And he's such an environmentalist, and I love on his new record, and listening and to speak with Howard, how passionate he is about how important it is that we focus on loving the earth, like actually putting love into our connection to the earth. And so I appreciate everything that you're saying, Do you have any other ideas of ways that people like because I thought was interesting, because I heard him say that, like, we're just not even really feeling like we have any connection to the earth. Like we could go all day long, and not once actually have any sort of like, where we're cultivating love for appreciation for nature and our, where we're standing? And do you what what are some of your ideas and thoughts or practices that help you to stay grounded on that level?

Melissa Friedman: 52:33

I mean, I think part of the biggest disconnect for us in modern times is, you know, we're attached to our screens, and our phones, obviously, it's kind of goes without saying nowadays, but I think you know, for me, like the very simple practice of going outside and literally just sitting under a tree and either putting my forehead against the tree or putting my back against the tree, and just breathing that energy, you know, into my body. And into my mind and allowing myself to, you know, the little meditation I like to do where I, you know, I sit with the tree, and I can visualize, you know, energy coming up from the roots of the tree into my own body and going back down into the earth. And so for me, literally just sitting with a tree is, is sometimes all I need to you know, come back to Earth if I've been on my computer too much, or if I'm feeling emotionally dysregulated, or whatever it is. Yeah, just taking a few breaths under a tree.

Todd McLaughlin: 53:49

That's a great one, Melissa, it like once, I feel like I don't ever see anyone glorifying or celebrating that simple act of like sitting and putting your back against the tree. Like, well, we don't really get that image very often, unless we were like, to specifically search out like, hashtag sit against a tree. I don't know, something that like, focuses on that. But that's a great idea.

Melissa Friedman: 54:16

And it's also a great way to I mean, there are definitely people that live in cities that don't get that our round nature very much or haven't been exposed to much of the natural world away from that environment. You know, I think that's one of the ways that we are going to help our planet is by not preaching to the choir, necessarily, but getting those people that don't have that energetic connection to trees or to the soil or whatever in into nature and get them connecting with that feeling of like, oh, there's something greater than me here and

Todd McLaughlin: 55:01

When I when I see pictures of Telluride like it looks so majestic and otherworldly. Is there, an energy there that's like profound, obviously, if you like it, and you've stayed there is there, it's got to be pretty amazing to live there. I mean, just looking at the photos of the mountains and the peaks, and even the aerial photos that I've seen of the town, it looks like such a tiny little town, like a one road, kind of like, post office and grocery store type of town. It just looks amazing. Have you found that living there does help you to have that really intense connection to nature, more so than anywhere else you've lived? Yeah,

Melissa Friedman: 55:46

for sure. Um, I mean, I think I grew up playing in the outdoors, and always, always having a connection to nature. And I think part of the reason I moved out here, I mean, yes, there was an energy here that had to do with the people. But ultimately, it was because I had a connection with the natural world here and how it felt to me. Because I kind of knew I wanted to live in the mountains and had had a profound experience coming from the east coast into the mountains as a teenager and just kind of knew that this is Colorado was where I wanted to be. So when my sister moved here, it definitely was just the impetus for me to, to get my butt out here too. And yeah, I mean, it's, I've lived here almost 25 years now, and I'm still in awe. Every day, I mean, I can go out my back door and hike up and and get that five minute tree meditation and feel so much better or whatever, feel grounded or feel clearer. So yeah, it doesn't take much. But that is, you know, in 25 years of being here, and watching the town change, and watching, you know, the influx of so much money and like these different things that have changed the town. The nature has stayed the same. You know, that's, that's kind of the constant is the woods, the mountains have stayed pretty much the same. So yeah. And it still is a magical little town to theirs that for sure. Right? The great community here. Yeah,

Todd McLaughlin: 57:44

that's so cool. So I really hope to get a chance to come practice that you're where you're teaching and come see Telluride sometime, as we're, I want to be really respectful of your time. And as we're coming in close on our actually, we we've come round closer on our, our Mark, do you have you've shared so many wonderful ideas and thoughts. So you don't have to add anything else here on but I'm curious if you have a closing statement and or a message to close with? Is there something that you would like to add?

Melissa Friedman: 58:28

You know, one of the things I've thought about a lot recently, as my practice has changed. Because I mean, I'm a mom, I'm in my 40s I, you know, have walked a path. And you know, long before I ever had a child, I knew that I wanted to break some of the cycles before I had my own child, like the stuff that we bring into the world we learn from our ancestors and our families. And so, you know, learning to have so much compassion with that and on my yoga journey, seeing where I was like in my 20s and then my 30s with it might the wisdom part of me now like the advice I would say to anyone who loves yoga or is learning about it is like Don't use your practice as as a an excuse or a reason to judge yourself or others. Like, use it as a way to grow deeper compassion for yourself and the world. You know, and to always have that beginner's mind because yeah, yoga is about finding presence. And I think presence so much of presence is is love. boils down to that So, yeah,

Todd McLaughlin: 1:00:01

well said thank you. Well,

Melissa Friedman: 1:00:06

welcome. Thank you so much.

Todd McLaughlin: 1:00:08

I really appreciate you taking the time to speak with me today. Thank Thank you. I I will stay in touch.

Melissa Friedman: 1:00:17

And Neil Young lives just down the road

Todd McLaughlin: 1:00:19

because he really does yellow pad and tell you right I didn't know that.

Melissa Friedman: 1:00:23

It's he lives on my on one of my bases. Yeah, call home

Todd McLaughlin: 1:00:26

man. I know I love he's got that one song. I'm thankful for my country home. And I just ah, I know. I don't know, my parent. My good friend's parents had all the Neil Young records. And I remember when I first started listening to him, like when I started listening to harvest when I was in high school, I just something about that album, just like, I just couldn't get enough of it. I recently just got another copy of it on vinyl Excite. I still play that thing over and over again. I love Neil and then I saw Neil play live in Miami in 1991. And he had Sonic Youth open up for them. And so like there's this kind of older hippie crowd that I think we're like, had no idea who Sonic Youth was, and I had no idea who Sonic Youth was. And they just shredded it Sonic Youth was so amazing. And that most of the crowd were a little older kind of gone. They like had this look like Boo like they were just like really turned off by the intensity of Sonic Youth but which made me even love Neil more because I thought what a cool thing to bring out a band that's completely opposite to like what Neil's music was like at the time, which made me fall in love with him even more. So that's cool. That's even more reason to go to Telluride. Although Neil probably doesn't want a bunch of paparazzi trying to stall come out on his May. So

Melissa Friedman: 1:01:51

he played a couple of he played a couple of shows here a few years ago was just coming off the Grand Canyon, a boating trip on the Grand Canyon. And he played a couple shows here. But I mean, I don't think people don't see him around very much. But um, yeah, harvest the big one for me to junior high and Oh. But yeah,

Todd McLaughlin: 1:02:17

that's almost emotional, isn't it? Harvest

Melissa Friedman: 1:02:21

definitely evokes a certain it evokes a certain Yeah. For sure. It definitely had to do with Yeah, roundabout way, my connection with the mountains and wanting to move to the mountains in the West as well. But um, yeah, I'll have to have to listen to that his new album front to back, because it's

Todd McLaughlin: 1:02:42

so good. On my end, Rick Rubin did the engineering who's a total legend, which even made me go what Rick Rubin and Neil are teaming up for this one. And it's, I guess, listening if you get a chance to hear how he wrote these tunes and how he would just go out in the woods and walk around and just start whistling. And then just like from there, just come up with this song. And they're all just like really simple, like love Earth. Lovers. Yeah.

Melissa Friedman: 1:03:12

Amazing. Yeah. And we search, search for it.

Todd McLaughlin: 1:03:18

Cool, Melissa. Well, thanks again. I really appreciate it. And I look forward to catching up again here in the future.

Melissa Friedman: 1:03:28

Thank you. So I feel like now I want to hear all about you. So

Todd McLaughlin: 1:03:32

we'll flip that will flip it next time.

Melissa Friedman: 1:03:35

For sure. Thanks, Todd. Thank

Todd McLaughlin: 1:03:37

you.

Melissa Friedman: 1:03:40

Good day,

Todd McLaughlin: 1:03:41

too. I appreciate it. Native yoga podcast is produced by myself. The theme music is dreamed up by Bryce Allen. If you liked this show, let me know. If there's room for improvement. I want to hear that too. We are curious to know what you think and what you want more of what I can improve. And if you have ideas for future guests or topics, please send us your thoughts to info at Native yoga center. You can find us at Native yoga center.com. And hey, if you did like this episode, share it with your friends, rate it and review and join us next time