Native Yoga Toddcast

Bibi Lorenzetti - Ashtanga Yoga Mama

December 11, 2022 Todd Mclaughlin Season 1 Episode 94
Native Yoga Toddcast
Bibi Lorenzetti - Ashtanga Yoga Mama
Show Notes Transcript

Bibi Lorenzetti is an inspiration to the Ashtanga Yoga community! During this podcast I had the pleasure of speaking with Bibi about her experience with mother hood and how her yoga practice is evolving because of it. Bibi is honest and real about the challenges and the joy that comes with parenting. I hope you enjoy this conversation as much as I did.

Check Bibi out on her website: www.bibilorenzetti.com
Also you can find her at her studio website here: www.newburghyogashala.com
Follow her on Instagram: @bibi.lorenzetti

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Todd McLaughlin:

Welcome to Native Yoga Toddcast. So happy you are here. My goal with this channel is to bring inspirational speakers to the mic in the field of yoga, massage bodywork and beyond. Follow us @nativeyoga, and check us out at nativeyogacenter.com. All right, let's begin. Hello, I'm so happy you are here today. I have the pleasure of bringing Bibi Lorenzetti to the podcast. And Bibi is an Ashtanga Yoga teacher. She's also a doula. And she has a website called bibilorenzetti.com. She also has her yoga studio website, which is Newburghyogashala.com. And I'm going to put her Instagram link in the description as well check her out, I found her via Instagram, because I was super inspired by her post. And this conversation is so fun. And she's got a lot of great insights about the focus here, we really kind of centered around motherhood and what it's like to practice Ashtanga Yoga and or have a yoga practice and before getting pregnant, having a child and after having a child, and she offers a lot of great insight. So I'm so excited that I had this opportunity. And I'm also really happy that you are here. Alright, let's begin. I'm so excited to have the chance to talk with Bibi Lorenzetti. Bibi, Thank you so much for joining me today. How are you doing?

Bibi Lorenzetti:

I'm good. Thank you, Todd, for having me on the podcast. I'm happy to speak with you.

Todd McLaughlin:

Oh, well, thank you so much. I know you have a busy life. So to carve out some time to do something like this, I realize is a very generous offer. So thank you. And can you help me since it's my first time getting a chance to meet you and speak with you? Can you tell me how you were your first yoga class was

Bibi Lorenzetti:

My first yoga class.... Yeah. I want to say Yoga to the People in New York City.

Todd McLaughlin:

Cool. I've heard about that. I've never been but I've heard it was like a donation based yoga classes.

Bibi Lorenzetti:

Yes. That recently had a whole scandal around it. But yes, that's the core of it. Is that? Yes.

Todd McLaughlin:

I didn't know about the whole scandal part. But maybe maybe we'll slide past that. Because there's there's scandal everywhere. And I think the world is a better place if we stay on a positive track. Yeah. But I'm so I'm so curious. You've totally piqued my interest. Was it like a financial scandal or like a sex scandal? Little both. Okay. All right. That's all we need to know. But I heard that they were like, really busy classes, like, like it was. It was a real happening. Yeah.

Bibi Lorenzetti:

Yeah. It was the same way. It started in St. Mark's and I actually did my first teacher training there in 2008. And then, they just it spread like wildfire. wild fire they had I don't even know how many in the city in Manhattan and Brooklyn, and then queens, and then just across the country. Wow. Yeah. And it was donation based. Only cash in a box. And there were celebrities in there. It was like a mix of everybody. But yeah, so that's where I started.

Todd McLaughlin:

That's cool. Do you remember what year that was?

Bibi Lorenzetti:

years or practice? Probably 2005.

Todd McLaughlin:

Cool. And what was the feeling you had on your first class?

Bibi Lorenzetti:

Well, it was a very distinct feeling of coming home. I still I still, I still remember the where I wasn't in the room. I was on the right side next to this brick wall that had a belly bar on it where we would hang the mats after practice. And it was like the second rollback. And the teacher was very young, actually the teachers Ilaria Baldwin now, and she had this really nice kind of like dance music slash melancholic, non vocal music. And I just remember being just like, taken into another dimension and really feeling myself in my body. Even though there was the music even though there were a million people in the class, even though the yoga there wasn't. Doesn't yoga, like Ashtanga Yoga, but it was definitely it did the thing of bringing me home inside myself. And I was after that day, I think I went like three or four times a day. Wow. Yeah. Because I was a waitress in the evening in a study theater. So anytime I had three, I was there because you know, it was donation based, so you could pay $1 and do yoga. That's cool. Yeah, so it was it was that was a feeling coming home. Prior to myself, not like in the studio just like inside myself.

Todd McLaughlin:

I understand what you mean. Did you you said yet you're studying theater? Had you had any other connection to any sort of Mind Body practices like Dan Sandor, were you an athlete as a child? Or what was your history with like movement art?

Bibi Lorenzetti:

Yes, I was a gymnast. For many years, I stopped when I was four. Teen, I think no, maybe 12. Because I was doing a tick tock on the high beam and one of my hands slipped, and I hit my head. And my vertebras in my my cervical spine went out. And I had really intense headaches anytime I went upside down after that. So I had a physical therapist telling me that I should stop inverting. And so that was it. When I really picked it up, it was yoga. Many years, you know, it's 20 years old. So

Todd McLaughlin:

nice. Yeah. Had you been able to rehab the injury so that when you went back into yoga, you weren't remembering that as like the the way that you should approach your practice? Or did you have a really strong memory of that injury? And did that cause you to be cautious when you approach to yoga practice?

Bibi Lorenzetti:

I wish I could say yes to that, because I didn't and then it kicked me in the butt years later, when I was in mice are doing when I learned the second series headstands wow, I think like the third year that I was doing them, something went out and I totally I was in my car, my neck just went out and I couldn't. It was like this feeling of being paralyzed. Because when your neck, you know, when you have like a subluxation of your cervical spine, it's fairly intense. So I, I was in a lot of pain that trip. And then I always managed to kind of work around it with chiropractic work. But now that I've had a child, I think the very long labor and having a peanut ball during my epidural time, really didn't do a favor to my hip alignment. And so my neck has just been constantly going out of place ever since I've had my kids.

Todd McLaughlin:

I understand not from the having a kid part, obviously, but but from having learning and practicing the headstands and second series and having major neck problems and going to a chiropractor and the chiropractor asking me well, what are you doing? Are you doing any sort of head standing and I was like, Oh my gosh, if I if I tell her what I'm actually doing, she's, I'm gonna sound insane. And then, so she said, you know, look, just stay off of that for, you know, like, for the time that we're, I'm trying to help you just stop doing it. And I remember that was like an earth shattering moment for me because I thought, you know, but how and how is this going to look and what does this mean? And but lo and behold, I stopped doing them and my neck got better. So I'm with you.

Bibi Lorenzetti:

You're still here?

Todd McLaughlin:

Yes. Good point. Good point.

Bibi Lorenzetti:

is real.

Todd McLaughlin:

Oh my gosh, it's still real. I'm still I had I came up against it a couple times today. already. How about? Yeah, I can't say I don't come up with it every day. I hear. Yeah. Can you help me? Fill in the picture of the transition from your first class? Yoga for the people to them. Now you're in Mysore? I don't know what year that was. Do you remember what year that was? Yeah, that's 2011 2011 Cool. What was the progression and Endor transition from that first experience to, to to go into Mysore.

Bibi Lorenzetti:

So I was up to the people. And then I left the United States for a little while. And then I came back. And I did the yoga teacher training at Yoga to the People into those and then eight. And then I started working there. And then I had an unfortunate situation with the owner, and I walked away, or I didn't react to his request the way he wanted me to. So I was the next day kicked out of the studio in a very not yogic or even human way. And I was very kind of shattered, because that was like my life. I was teaching there, you know, I was managing the studios, I was teaching maybe like three or four classes a day, it was just my whole life. And so I started looking for a place where to go practice. And at the time, I was involved with this, I don't remember Benton learning. So it was called bent on learning. It was this programming that was happening for yoga, kids yoga, in schools in New York, and they would meet at this yoga studio called the Shala yoga house in Union Square. And so I remember thinking, well, maybe I should try there. But classes were like $20, a class and this was back in 2010. And certainly, there's no age gap for this, and oh, seven and nine. And so I started I inquired for work exchange. And so I started cleaning, and then I upgraded to being the front desk, and then like helping with management stuff, and then they did their first teacher training. And so I did their teacher training in 2010. And the teacher suggested that I start doing Mysore because the owners, Kristen Leigh, and Barbara Barofsky, they were strong yeas and authorized teachers. So as soon as the TT finished, in 2011, I went to myself for two months. And because I wanted to make sure that I liked, like the root of it, and where it came from, and that I got to see it from you know, from from its origin. And well, now here I am.

Todd McLaughlin:

Excellent. I appreciate you being able to recall the dates and like a good clear timeline, because that's not always easy to do. After a bit of time has gone by. That's awesome, BB. And, dude, I'm just curious. How many times have you gone to India? I don't know if you're keeping track or care to share the amount? Yeah, yeah, I

Bibi Lorenzetti:

went every year from 2011. That year, I went twice. Actually, I went in February. And then I went back for another two months. And October, November. And then after that every year, until I think the last time I went was 2017.

Todd McLaughlin:

Well, that's like a good six or seven times. Yeah,

Bibi Lorenzetti:

I think it's more like seven or eight. Yeah. And then. Yeah, I think 2017 was the last time I went and then I got pregnant in 2009. Teen Oh, yeah. Because the 2018 I actually decided to not go to Mysore and go see Sharmila and she was doing like an intensive in Canada. And so I went to see her because I wanted I had never had, I was doing, like I was had completed a third series by then in Mysore. And I was, I really wanted I'd never had a woman teach me or guide me through or watch me do a third series. And I really wanted, I knew I wanted to get pregnant at some point. And I really wanted a woman's perspective on the practice. And so instead of going to my sir, I went to her, which was just a week, but financially, it was the equivalent to two months in Mysore. So I did that instead. And then I got pregnant and then the pandemic hit. And I don't know, now that I know what it's like to have a toddler. I really bow down to all my friends that go with kids, because I don't think I could survive a plane ride from your atomizer with two and a half year old.

Todd McLaughlin:

Oh, I I hear you, baby. That is so true. I feel the same way. I have major respect for families that take that trip because it's a big deal. It's a big deal. Yeah. Well, that's really cool. I'm curious, did your did you gain what you had hoped you could or would from your transition from practicing with a male teacher to a female teacher?

Bibi Lorenzetti:

Oh, yeah. 100% I mean, I was very lucky. I was you know, my practice was an install or the still hot, whatever the word is. The seed was planted by female teachers, Barbara, Kristen, and I, it was really I think it was, it's such an important part of who I am as a teacher that I was taught the practice by women. I'm very grateful to Eddie and Shaw, for being my teachers. But I think, you know, it's nice to have both experiences, because they're so different. How, you know, I know that there can be very that it's not to say that one is more gentle than the other, but it's just an appreciation of how a woman's body works. And you know, the cycles. And yeah, just this whole more, this whole more internal perspective of being a woman practitioner, that no matter how much a man is receptive to it, or male teachers receptive to it, I think there's something that unless you have that body of far to really understand. So I was, yeah, I was definitely very grateful to then be able to spend some time with her Mila, because she gave me a great insight as to how to even prepare from pregnancy, like just slowly taking away, you know, releasing, and letting go of certain aspects of practice and turning, you know, third series is kind of very kind of male energy like, like, I know that there's all this gender stuff happening. And I don't even know if I should be saying female or male, I don't even know anymore, what's what's wrong, but just more, you know, like strength and like, you need a certain level of like, aggressiveness and willpower, that I'm not saying that women that were female energy doesn't have. But it's, it's just a different quality, I feel like second series a lot more feminine and soft, and like, you still need a lot of strength, but it's more subtle. Third series is very gross, unless, until you really become so intimate with it, that you can flip it, and then it can become subtle and soft. But when you're learning it, it's just very not subtle and not soft.

Todd McLaughlin:

Do I agree with you? Do you think that there is a possible or potential hormonal shift that would occur if you stop exerting, say, on the level of a third series practice? And that would age either being like being able to get pregnant? Is that I

Bibi Lorenzetti:

mean, I don't know if this is like a fact. But from my own experience, and understanding of the practice, I think, because of the enormous amount of heat that is generated in, in the body, and because you, you know, it really changes the density of your, like, structure. And so I don't know, because I'm not, you know, I'm not like, you know, your Vedic doctor or anything, but I think I feel like I could see how it would also just because of the intensity of like, the twists, via all the upside down all the strength, I don't know if literally, it would change you, but I think it would, it doesn't necessarily lead to creating a nourishing, abundant space in the womb, I think it's a mix a little dry and a little

Todd McLaughlin:

hot. Yeah, interesting. But that's just my

Bibi Lorenzetti:

perspective. And my feel like I really felt deeply inside my body and my soul that I needed to, to move away from it in order to be able to get pregnant.

Todd McLaughlin:

Yeah. Was that challenging for you? Or were you happy? Were you were you happy that they said, Look, you should stop doing this. You're like, oh, my gosh, finally, someone told me I don't have to. But no one

Bibi Lorenzetti:

ever told me that I told myself. Like, yes, I think it's a very good, you know, intuition that you're having. And I, I think you should follow suit with it. And it was, so that was even harder, because it was, you know, I was self imposing. And I remember clearly, like, I gave myself like a timeline. And then, so after I saw her, it was like a slow taking away, like letting go of letting go. And I'm so grateful I did it. Because, you know, pregnancy is if you're a practitioner, like me, like a very type a kind of person, you know, talk about ego attachment that we kind of talked about before. It's like, it's a death of self. It's a death of identity that I experience it as a as a death of like, like, if I am not this person that does third series and can teach that way. Who am I? Yeah. And so it was this, like, I'm glad that I gave myself all the time to shut it because, you know, then there's the whole identity crisis of being a pregnant person and then being a mother and so it's like, all these identity shifts, I think require a lot lot of nourishment and attention and time. Good

Todd McLaughlin:

point. Thank you. Yeah, that was well said baby. That's a good point. Can Can you shed a little light on what your practice was like through the stages of your pregnancy? If you were like to break it into say the trimesters Did you Did you do something like really simple like say I'm just gonna do like a standing pose practice for nine months or did you try to maintain a primary series practice but avoid things like merge Chiasson, A, B and D. I've seen I was one time practicing when patottie Joyce was teaching in Encinitas. And there was a large group in a big gymnasium. And there was a woman that was had to be a or nine months pregnant, and she blew my mind what she was doing in the primary series practice. So I've seen it. I've seen it on that level before. But I'm curious what worked for you.

Bibi Lorenzetti:

Yeah, I think it's a very independent individual thing for me, I, I worked it down to where, by the time I can see, I was just doing primary series. And then the moment I found out, I got pregnant, I let it go. I stopped practicing for the first three months. Nice. Because I felt it was very important for me to not have assumptions of what I should be practicing. And in order to do that, I felt like I had to start new ones. I was like, pregnant, pregnant, you know how you have to wait three months, and then like, you're really pregnant. So I really, I let it go. And I went hiking, I swam i i did like a little bit of weight stuff. I just, I did all the other things. And I dealt with my mind. And you know, and the feeling like a my remember, like I was teaching. I grew up in Westchester at the time and I had a I had a like a small group in my garage here in New virgin. I remember feeling like, I'm not practicing this the first time I'm teaching, I'm not practicing, does this mean that I'm not in connection to God, and I shouldn't. You know, God isn't really just God, but like, universe, whatever. And that I shouldn't be teaching should I just not be doing yoga at all just contemplating. But I kept teaching and I just watched the thoughts. And then when the second trimester hit, I slowly started integrating just things that felt right. So I didn't really have a plan, I just, you know, my body felt completely different. Even though I didn't really have a belly, it still felt different. And they felt like there was something in there that was growing, for sure. And so I just really focus on how can I make, like as much space as possible for this thing to root itself and feel like it has a space to grow? And how can I like not, you know, just like in yoga, we're trying to, to work to become vessels. It's to just, you know, for the for the true selves to just kind of shine through I felt the same way about being a vessel for this human to grow in. And so I tried to really, I just made up a whole new practice I did whatever poses felt right, and I adopted them to whatever would allow for space and it was great fun. It was very, very creative process. It was also very frustrating. You know, I had a full on like, panic attacks, I would be like, Ah, my body doesn't work. I don't understand. I can't even like touch my toes. It was just a couple of times my partner had to like rescue me out of like a puddle of tears. But looking back, I have a very fond memory of you know, a of discovering that freedom, which I think is an essential part of having a deep relationship to practice. Because you know, whether you have a child or you're just aging inevitably practice is not going to be one way.

Todd McLaughlin:

Yes. Good point. Do you feel more prepared for aging now?

Bibi Lorenzetti:

Well, I have some white hairs and my first kind of lines around my eyes and I've definitely noticed I'm I'm making more of an effort to buy better lotions. So I don't know if it's preparing me for death. But definitely more realistic about how attached I am to things and ego and all of that.

Todd McLaughlin:

I hear you What about in the final ninth month What did that mean?

Bibi Lorenzetti:

Last practice was the day I went into labor? I actually, I think I I initiated it with practice, because I was feeling like, Oh, I think I think it's coming today. And then I did like a few sometimes mutations, and then it just started. So that was nice. That was like the thing that kicked it off. And, you know, by no, I really thought going in, I was gonna be this person that did all the back bends and all, you know, kept the practice throughout. And I really, I really made a restorative experience like Ashtanga experience. And it was, yeah, I think it's, it was such a, I'm very grateful that I could take apart the practice in such a way and really, like understand how to use it. Because I feel like now I'm such I'm much more accepting as a teacher. And more able to kind of meet a person where they are, whereas before, I had higher expectations for everybody.

Todd McLaughlin:

That's a great point. That's where I do think injury and challenge and all these things really makes teaching a much more real experience. Yeah. And then, and can you I'm sorry, I didn't even ask is, do what is what is your child's name?

Bibi Lorenzetti:

My childhood. His name is Indy Moon is a little boy. Oh, that's

Todd McLaughlin:

a great name. Yeah, thank you. And he's two and a half now.

Bibi Lorenzetti:

He's two and a half. Yeah, well, Taurus. I really want to Taurus. I got one

Todd McLaughlin:

Taurus. Nice. My wife is a Taurus. So yeah, they have strong Well, that's awesome. Yeah. Yes. Strong. So a two year old tourists means you're like, you're on duty. Yes,

Bibi Lorenzetti:

I have a boss.

Todd McLaughlin:

And I'm curious. And then, in terms of I don't know if this is the right word, I was gonna say, like your recovery after, after giving birth, but the process of, of what was that evolution process? Like?

Bibi Lorenzetti:

Yeah, I think it's really the word is rebirth more than anything. Because I really think, you know, I became a doula actually, because of my experience with birth. Because I thought, wow, like, this is a major thing here that we're doing. And I gave birth, a week after, or maybe not even, like, three days after they realized that the pandemic hit. And then we went into lockdown. And then partners were no longer allowed in the birthing room. So I had a full on panic attack, because I was going to give like, my due date was just coming up, like the week after. And I just like, I just was so angry, and not knowing what I would do everything by myself. And then literally three days, luckily, India was late. And three days before he decided to come down, they changed the rule, again, just upstate. In New York, it was still not allowed. So I feel very lucky. But that experience really made me want to become, you know, support other women through it. And also, because I really wasn't aware, you know, there's so much I felt like for my own journey, there was so much preparation I did with yoga and you know, self care practices from pulling from your Veda and and then I didn't really prepare or hear much about the postpartum time, and I think, know, whether you're a practitioner of yoga or not, but if you are some sort of practitioner of mindfulness practices, it's really, it's really like a death and a rebirth of self. But you really have to, at least the way I experienced it, and I think the more I speak with women actually did a whole YouTube series on after on birth stories, and I interviewed a lot of Ashtanga women in the Istanbul world and, and just in the yoga world. And it's been, it was really interesting to hear how all the for all of us, it really resonated this idea of just the enormous amount of shedding of self that you do, and how unprepared we are going in, to really, you know, to really let go of everything, like all of a sudden, if you're a practitioner, your practice might have like, in my case, my practice was like the centerpiece of my life. You know, it's what my teaching is what I just felt so passionate about, and that shifts very quickly first of all, because You know, your body's been open and how you know you've delivered a human. So you have to deal with that. And then, and I had about, you know, my birth went, Well, I had a vaginal birth, I didn't tears, I didn't have like any extra, needing to heal, but you still there's a lot of tissue healing that you have to do and, and then you're taking care of this other human and like your body feels like it's not pregnant anymore, but it's not what it was anymore and your strength is gone. And so it's a lot of, yeah, it's a lot of rebuilding and just refraining from trying to be who you were before, because you're just not you're so much bigger than that. And so yeah, my, it was a, it was a definitely a process of, of like, mourning, mourning the person that I was, and that I thought I was going to go back to after the pregnancy, like I thought, Okay, well, for nine months, I'm going to be me, and then I'm going to go back to being me. And so it was a surprise that like, oh, no, actually, I'm not. You know, accepting that, and then slowly, just seeing where, where it all led to? I don't know if I answered your question.

Todd McLaughlin:

You did. You did perfectly. And where now that you've had two and a half years, in terms of like the rebuilding process and rebirthing process? Are you? Like, do you feel like you're in a better place? Or are you still striving to grab a hold of what once was? Or are you at peace with all that? What's what's happening now for you?

Bibi Lorenzetti:

Well, I think there's a general, like, melancholic feeling of, oh, you had I really miss those days where I can just about two and a half hours to practicing, you know, like, not just physical, but just chanting a minute, like the whole thing. Pranayama the whole thing. And just knowing that, you know, running two businesses, and being a fool, you know, aside from like, the couple of hours that you need, at school, I'm mothering the rest of my day. So there's just not enough time to, to have the luxury of that. And so, there's that there is this constant, like dreaming of, oh, my gosh, I'm so lucky, I had all those years to practice with, you know, all those hours, and like, spend time in India with all I thought about. And then the realistic knowing that, like, my mind is just not, I don't know, if you remember with your kids, but toddlers requires so much attention and patience. And like, that attention was what I put towards my practice, and like when I do not have the ability to pay that much attention all day long. So for me now, practices literally, like, fully present, maybe I can give it a half an hour full presence. And then the rest is just, it's it's been really just observing, you know, part of why I wanted to have a child was I wanted to see, like, I wanted to see how we begin and how all the philosophy of yoga, like really becomes embodied, like how, how does it start? And how do we get so fucked up, and then we have to go back. And so I really wanted to, like, see all of that, like I wanted to see, like, where, why do we have Glacia? Like, why do we have these obstacles? Like, where does it start? And it's been really, you know, that's really been the practice of like, being present enough that I can really take this human in, and like, really see it happen. And that's hard, because most of the time you're, like, stop moving. Go to bed. But to like, really remember and be like, Okay, I'm not on the mat. This is practice. And that's not to say that, you know, it's still very important to come to the mat. And, but it's definitely, you know, my practice now is really about observing myself in action, as a mother and and then when I can come to the mat, you know, to really do it for the amount of time where I can really be present for it and not just do it just to do it. And to like, really be honest with myself about it. Because you know, time is limited, and I'm not, if I can't really be present, then it's just not worth it. I hear Yeah. Yeah, I've taken up meditation a lot more like at night really. Even if it's just 10 minutes every night, to really like find a little space of silence and like reflection and then just walk Jim, I am running a teacher training on top of it. So it's a six month teacher training. And it's been such a such a joy to really, like remember what it's like to be a student and to really like teach in a way that you can really make someone feel passionate about this. So it's been nice to have that to go back to the philosophy, which I think maybe that's what I'm more of a student. Right now more than you know, the awesome apart.

Todd McLaughlin:

Nice. You made mention, I know. And these are these will be in the links in the description that you said I have two businesses and I know you have new Burro yoga Shala is that? And that's that's the website name. And everyone can find that and click down below. And then also your website, which is BB lorenzetti.com. But what's your second business is the second one as a doula. So as I was referring to it, okay, cool. Yeah. And that's like, that's an official like, are you doing that as well? How are you finding? So baby? Like, how and how in the heck? How are you finding time to like, raise a two and a half year old, run two businesses, or hold down the teacher training program? And do like 10 minute meditation at night, and maybe get a 30 minute practice on your mat? Like with full attention? That's, that's, you're obviously extremely busy. So I kind of I know that and that's, again, why I'm so appreciative you to take time to speak with me. I think that anyone listening that is doesn't have children and wants to have children. I'm curious what? Because it is a very inspiring experience, and also extremely time consuming experience. And what advice would you give yourself, like three years ago, now that you have this three years of experience under you of like, being pregnant and having having a, you know, beautiful child? What would you if you could go back and give yourself like a little whisper of advice? Is there anything that comes to mind?

Bibi Lorenzetti:

Yes, well, there's two things. The first one is, I told my therapist this and she said, Oh, that's so sad. And I think she needs to stop being my therapist. Because the honest truth is that like, no one ever really tells you what it's like. Yeah. And so there's, you know, now in these in a really cute phase. But when they're not an acute phase, I definitely think often, like, if I could go back and tell myself, but it's really like, I would not do this, like hands down. Yeah, I love like, I brought my toddler to teach my surgeon to use in the room with me for two hours. He was amazing. He was like, on my leg. I was back bending people. He was on my leg. He was just like, so we're like, attached. But still, like, I love him dearly. And I would not, you know, I wouldn't send him back particularly. But if I could talk to myself, I would say, you know, you could wait longer like 35 in this country is your become a geriatric pregnancy, which is so sad. But really, like, give yourself time and talk to a lot of women. And like, you know, really prepare yourself. Because, yes, I feel like now I'm beginning to be okay to like, you know, I've become, I feel like I've become excellent. I have from 715, I leave my house to go teach. And then I pick my son up at 230. So I have that amount of time to run a yoga business, which I'm very lucky to share with a really amazing male business partner, which like, we are both the same. We're like both workaholics in a good way and like we just get each other. Fantastic.

Todd McLaughlin:

What is his name?

Bibi Lorenzetti:

His name is Austin DuBois. He's from here. We're actually

Todd McLaughlin:

I saw a picture of the two of you on Instagram the other day, and you guys are great. You guys look like really great, great partners, and you're writing a post about just how thankful you are and appreciative to have you know, help and assistance like true help and assistance. So that's really cool.

Bibi Lorenzetti:

Yeah, he like has my back 100% It's really we really complement each other and I can you know, I he's like you do the yoga I have nothing to say in that. And he just takes on everything that I can and it's it really allows me to, to like do what I know how to do, which is such a blur. I'm so I'm just so bewildered by the universe we're having given him to me. So it's really great and then do less stuff. Which, you know, I there was one moment where I literally went to a bird I was there for like, a night, a day and night, and then another day, and then I went home that night, I got home at like 1am. And then I went to teach miser at 7am. And I was like, Okay, I need to slow down. And my, my boyfriend is a musician. So we have like, opposite schedules often. So it's like, it's not like you get home and you're like, grass, you get home and like, you're on duty. So definitely, you know, the doula thing. Now, I only do one client every three months, because I've been on the weekends. I do teacher training every other weekend. So I had to really, you know,

Todd McLaughlin:

yeah, organize your time. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, you might have covered the second thing, a piece of advice you would give yourself, but I heard the first one, which is that you would maybe give a little bit of time, or just like, really make sure like, I love that you say like, talk to a lot of women, like really ask questions and get honest answers so that you really are making an educated decision. But I wasn't sure if you covered the second one. I'm so curious, like, Oh, she can say yeah,

Bibi Lorenzetti:

all right, listening. I think the second one is, or the first one is, I was telling myself don't do it, or the second one is, do it. But know that you most likely can't have a backpack, baby. And that you will need to make routes and stay home and manage your time really, really well. And do things imperfectly, and sometimes full on half baths. And that's okay.

Todd McLaughlin:

Yes. Good advice. No. harder question. Do you think you would have lived? Do you think you would have listened to yourself? Yeah, probably not. Yeah, the same here? Same here. If? Yeah, yes, yes. In hindsight, everything makes perfect sense. But um, but I hear that is good. You know, if there's someone listening that's really curious about, you know, I want to have children and or what would that mean, for my yoga practice? It is good to really be ready

Bibi Lorenzetti:

to practice is going out the window?

Todd McLaughlin:

Yeah, the glory days.

Bibi Lorenzetti:

Like a million family members. And you really aren't good at not wanting to control everything around your child.

Todd McLaughlin:

Yeah, that's a great point. And if I ask a question, that's too personal, I won't be offended if you choose not to answer. But do you have extended family that's helping you or are you? Are you doing this solo? Okay. All right.

Bibi Lorenzetti:

That's true. I think also, the other thing is that it really changes your relationship, which I think is another thing that's really not talked about in like a really profound way. So having, you know, being making sure that you are being really realistic with yourself, but also very real with your partner. Yeah, yeah. Because yeah, as you might know, it's definitely the priorities shift.

Todd McLaughlin:

Yes.

Bibi Lorenzetti:

You know, you really, the relationship really takes a hit.

Todd McLaughlin:

It does. Yeah. Because as a man, we're like, well, we want attention to and then it's like, no, no, no, that's not happening now. And so yeah, you can't We can't take it personally. It's it's a part of like, the natural process in every birth situation. I think from everyone I speak with anyway. Yeah, yeah. Well, that's cool, baby. I'm, I'm curious. Um, I noticed that you're offering some international retreats coming up. Can you tell me a little bit about what your hopes and dreams are, if you're excited or where you're going?

Bibi Lorenzetti:

Yeah, so I've been running, like retreats are one of my passions, I love traveling. And I've, I've run retreats. My first one was 2016. And I usually run to a year. And then last year, and it's just, you know, for me, retreats are really like a way to get together with a usually a group of close students or people that at least have been following me for a while either virtually, you know, on social media or in person. And so it's just a time to really geek out. And like spend a lot of time practicing in the morning, really, like try to keep them small, so that I can really give a lot of attention to my students and make sure that they're, they're using that week to really find more depth and understanding in their own practice. And then to just dive into the more complex parts of practice the philosophy and like, how does it how does what we're doing on the Not really like transition in our lives, or like read itself into our lives and how does the I love to focus on the sutras I think there's just so rich. And so just like every year, I pick two and I spend the year like studying them two or three, and I spent a year studying them. Last year, I did my first retreat and the mom and I picked like a few words from the sprint sutras. And we we just spent the afternoons discussing Sanskrit words, and just like relating them to things that have come up for us in practice, and in life, and just connecting it all together. And it was such a beautiful way to I never taught like that. And it was such a beautiful way to see a group come together and really open up and for the practice of really like the philosophy and the practice to really come alive. And as a teacher, it was, it was a really beautiful learning experience for me as well, because you really, everybody just brings something to the table, and it puts everybody in this very vulnerable space. And it was, yeah, it was very, I think, transformative for all. And it was really nice to be able to share my child with everybody. And he was so happy to be in the room every morning and run around naked. And I really, the vision is that I hope, you know down the line, more and more families will come along. And you know, I know it's an expense, and it's not for everybody, but it's it's such a beautiful way to travel and see beautiful places and be at the beach, but also have your your mind immerse in yoga while you're at it.

Todd McLaughlin:

Oh, nice. Yeah, that's cool. I saw that you're gonna be in Spain in June in my orca in July. And do you choose? Do you go to the same place each time when you lead a retreat? Because you're in love with that area of the world? Or do you try to pick different places, and each each time,

Bibi Lorenzetti:

I used to pick different places each time, I think I now it's easier for me to kind of go to a space that I know where it is. Because, you know, again, being a mother, it's just easier. And I love I've done a couple of retreats in my yard. And it's such a nice, there's so many beaches, and there's so much to do in terms of like just during the day outside of the yoga practice. So I'm going back there again, I haven't been in a while. And then he beat that I used to live there for a few seconds before I was into yoga, doing a lot of non yoga things. And I really wanted to go back last year and this new self and revisit the world that I was part of so many million years ago, and it was really nice to see it with clear eyes and in presence, and I really loved it. And so I'm going back to the same delay again.

Todd McLaughlin:

I hope I'm not making an assumption but meaning like in the early days, you would party but now you can go back to a place where it is a party place and and not party and feel amazing and and excited that you're not still on that track. Is that that ticket? Okay?

Bibi Lorenzetti:

Exactly.

Todd McLaughlin:

That's cool. Do you find Do you find that? Is it is it easy for you now to go somewhere where it is like where there's like this really cool yoga vibe, but then at night, it turns into like Full Moon Party vibe. Is is that easy for you now to just like, be like, Nope, I don't care. That's not my thing.

Bibi Lorenzetti:

And I wouldn't say You know, I feel like I find myself at a place where sometimes I do want to go out dancing and I mean that it has to come along with you know drug taking and drinking but yeah, I think for a long time, I turned myself into like a like a yoga non like I was like just, you know, go to bed. I mean I still go to bed at 930 Because now I wake up in the night or not for non non self reasons but um you know, I would religiously go to bed at nine wake up at five Chand make my coffee before I went to teach and like and I did that for so many years and I was so I really like left behind that other self that I was before that that was the opposite of that and so I think with rebirthing of this new self as a mother I think I've yeah, I've become curious like I got a tattoo i i began I'm like curious to like to not be extreme in any direction but to just, you know, to just live from a place of like, not having to be one thing or the other but just Can I go Can I go downs? And can I stay up late and like not do anything crazy and still have that experience of moving my body with music? And can I then be a yoga nun the next day, you know, like all the things without having to go in extremes? That's really nice, because it's really nice. Yeah.

Todd McLaughlin:

I hear Yeah. It sounds like you're leveling out a little bit.

Bibi Lorenzetti:

I think I think it's happening.

Todd McLaughlin:

I had, I hope, um, I know that is it. Okay. If we go for till till 530? Do you have that long at the time? Cool. I'll be I'll be time time. I'll pay attention. But I want to keep asking questions is. So recently the other day, I had somebody who came in and said, I want to bring my friend tomorrow to lead primary series Ashtanga. And she's three months pregnant. And I said, Well, does she have an existing yoga practice already? Well, no, but she's really fit. And she does a lot of different stuff. And, you know, because I've, I feel lucky, because I've been able to been teaching for a while, and I've had a chance to work with a lot of people that are trying to get pregnant have gotten pregnant practice all the way through their pregnancy practice after pregnancy. And now I feel like my answer is changed. And I'm more saying, I don't think it's a good idea to be really honest. Like, I think if she comes to a yen class, or a gentle class would be a better way for me to get to meet her and just find out where she's at. Because I just don't want to take a chance with someone being aggressive, not knowing the seriousness of some of the Austin is in primary series. And, and I was really appreciated that they actually listened and, and, and didn't come which in the past, I would be more like, yeah, just come, we'll modify, we'll figure it out. You'll be fine. Just come? What is your answer? Now, based off of your experience, if you had that same question?

Bibi Lorenzetti:

Yeah, that's a tricky question. I think, you know, I think there's, it's a little bit complicated, right? Because I think I'm at a place personally, as a teacher, where, for many years, I thought, even just me towards my teachers, like, you know, teach seeing the teacher is like, the person that has all the answers and abiding to and like bowing down to whatever guidance the teacher has, which I think there is, you know, if the teacher is someone that's really, really spend their time studying and observing and like that, you know, obviously, there's, there's a knowledge to that, but I think, in general, as humans, it is good to take time to really reflect on why we want to do things. And so I think I love that you gave her the opportunity to, you know, maybe try something a little different to establish a relationship, and then maybe do that. Because I think in general, you know, Ashtanga tends to attract the type of personality that tends to go push a little past. You know, the, the reality of where we are with our bodies at any given point. And so I think it's nice as teachers to to create a little space for opportunity for discussion is to like, nice. Why would you want to share like, why do you want to win? What are you trying to get out of it? And if you really want to learn this might not be the best way to learn how to sustain yourself in this time. Yeah, so I guess the answer is I would, I would have a conversation. Yeah. Why and whether, you know, can they come maybe come to my store instead? And like, can we work slowly? And like, yeah.

Todd McLaughlin:

Good answer. Good answer. I appreciate that. You know, it's so cool. Bibi is. I'm having so much fun with this podcast, and I love going on to Instagram to seeing who inspires me and I came across your profile, and I was like, Oh my gosh, she looks so cool. I'm gonna, I'm gonna go out on a limb. I'm gonna like writer and see if she'll say yes and no. And then you did and you said yes. And then the next day John and Mandy Coleman came in to take class and I'm like, I said, I'm so excited. I got this really cool girl named BB. She said she would come on my podcast because they're huge supporters. And I was like, Oh, I love that episode. And they go we know BB BB is amazing. Oh my gosh, we love her. Oh, you're gonna have such a great conversation with her and they just like, raved about you. And I just felt like, it really is a small it's Small world. It's a very it's a tight, it's a tight, small world. And I'm appreciative for that. So well, Bibi reached out. Well, thank you. Thank you. And thank you for being

Bibi Lorenzetti:

flexible. You know, I know we try to.

Todd McLaughlin:

I know, I know, every time I was like, the first time when I had to change on you, I was like, I was really like, I was really excited to get on the call with you. So I was like, Ah, no, I gotta wait again. But, um, but and I, hopefully maybe we can do this again sometime, because I do have more questions, but I'm on the element of bringing our discussion toward like, a closing element. Is there anything that is there anything else that maybe I could have asked you or something that you are passionate about? or would like to close with or share with the listeners?

Bibi Lorenzetti:

Yeah, you know, as you're talking, I was thinking about, because we started with, like, how did you come to yoga? Or what was your first class or whatever? And I think, because I'm running this teacher training, and you know, we're almost halfway through and think it would be nice to end with like, what, you know, what is yoga? Which I think can be such a huge question. But also, it can be just as simple as, you know, teaching these tea teas, I have to reflect on that a lot. Like, what am I really teaching these people? Like, what do I want them to go out and you have the certificate that, you know, really means not like 200 hours in the mean? Nothing. It means that, like, you're curious enough to begin, explore, you know, you've spent enough weekend eating out. And so think, you know, really this, to me, it's like this willingness to be forever curious about, like, who am I and Eddie says this in his book, actually, in his one simple thing at Eastern, a dear teacher of mine, and to many people around the world. But he said that he's like, who am I? What am I doing here? And so just like, you know, I keep thinking that that teaches people like, who am I? Why am I here teaching this? And, and so to just how lucky that we can, as teachers of yoga, we can just have all this. Like, that's our job. That's what we're doing all day. We're just wandering, looking through these really knowledgeable texts. That, no, you're just constantly wondering, What am I what am I doing here? Like, what? What are the what are some of the answers that these sages have given other these very wise people, and it's wisdom that even just asanas have like, yeah, it's just so wonderful. It's such a key to like, unleashing and releasing a lot of what's inside and undoing. You know, hopefully read becoming a toddler.

Todd McLaughlin:

Good point. Did you come up with? Did you come up with an answer to that question today for yourself?

Bibi Lorenzetti:

What am I doing here? No, and definitely don't have that.

Todd McLaughlin:

I was I was I was mulling over that one myself today. And it took me a little while to kind of get clear. But I feel a little clearer. Now. Actually, I have to be honest, like having an opportunity to speak with other yoga students and teachers. Definitely conversation for me. And story really helps me to get stay focused and clear about who I am. And so I agree with you, BB. That's a great point. That's an excellent reference point. And to have people ask that, whether they're like you said, I'm in a teacher training, and that's a really important time to kind of go like, what am I doing? Like, what what do I want? Like, what am I what is my goal here, but, but I love how you're even saying like, like, because I was I do mull over that all the time, the same way, like who am I? What am I doing?

Bibi Lorenzetti:

And you know, as practitioners of understanding to understand that sometimes, like, I'm going to teach a class after this on Wednesday, 630 class, and I'm like, I sit there like, what am I doing? Music and like, what are we really doing? But then it's remembering like, everybody has to come into it in one way or another, you know, and like, I came into this vinyasa, you know, and like, you just never know when is how people are going to begin to open themselves. And so it's like, yeah,

Todd McLaughlin:

that's a great point. That's cool, baby. Well, thank you so much. I love your insights and your perspective and I'm really excited to hopefully one day come meet you and travel to my Orca. That sounds incredible. And bring the family that would be amazing. Yeah,

Bibi Lorenzetti:

there you go.

Todd McLaughlin:

Hanging on the beach. Do some yoga chill on the beach. Cool, baby. Well, thank you.

Bibi Lorenzetti:

Thank you so much for this conversation

Todd McLaughlin:

same as well, and I will be in touch soon. Okay, wonderful. Have a good one. Thank you native yoga podcast is produced by myself. The theme music is dreamed up by Bryce Allen. If you liked this show, let me know if there's room for improvement. I want to hear that too. We are curious to know what you think and what you want more of what I can improve. And if you have ideas for future guests or topics, please send us your thoughts to info at Native yoga center. You can find us at Native yoga center.com. And hey, if you did like this episode, share it with your friends, rate it and review and join us next time